Approach

Catch
Deceitful breath, stands
Fast, no danger here,
But this, a step I've
Taken, not to be got back I
Quaver. Guessed right? Did I,
Or on moment's folly falter? Words
Spread wide, perhaps for
Scorn or anger wrought
Unjust response to mite's
Submission; waiting burns,
May answer, may or not,
As I resign. To know, perhaps in
Time, and maybe ever doubt,
And move regret, and ache
To have not.

Tuft

Sways, waving,
Verdant death, shore grasses,
Wildly, arctic-driven,
Crackle, flailed upon
With smattering tears
Of cumulus; drops rent by
Wailing, wanting,
Ever driving foehn;
Chinook by name, bends
Lashes pathway bare of
Breath or feather,
Smattering of sand.
Captured all,
Image bound in print:
Giclée adorns my wall;

A chill, a thrill, 

Smile wan for all

Entangled and enrapped therein,

A life begun and past.

What have I done?

Innocent weeps! Retract, rewind
Damn spot, upon my soul, upon
My life, blot, ebony-inked
And dried; erasure none and
Blame I heap. O wag on harpies,
Cranial conception, jeer and jar
Blameless injured and faulty, here
I cringe and wail, damaged none
Save how I and she see
Me

Gurge

In, in brought
Recorded, report it and
Share! This web,
World-wide butter spread
O'er not bread enough.
To take it all
In

You

One, many, all:

Follow, heed

Long, lonesome call

Oh, you! Don't leave me 

Stranded, soiled,

Speculating!

Adorn, enable, bear,

Make Desperate your 

Trophy, young and bold, and

Leave to polish silver,

Order, primp, design

To please you:

Own you/

Make you beg,

I beg

You!

Markham

escape from
form and
proper

Blast! Bite - tsetse masticate
cells of mine and
Firm, shared Crocuta serum too
I fly now, Beryl! Soar with thee
Kalahari's mote above and
Fall

fled from form
and proper
some escape

Past

Weighed and mired, baggage piled
Anon, aloft, in arms, I trail along, graft
Finds with ever, tight and bind securely,
Twine, meld, swing and smash!
At impasse, roads built round, as
Geisel showed, ever stalwart, bear
This burden, load I cling beneath,
Fain let one memory fall, though
Strain to carry, pain recalled. Yet
Would I, could I lighten, clean-sweep,
Posture aid and stride regain? Oh!
Might I? May I, Simon? Roll
These shoulders, loosen ties, and
Sigh. Sink, sweat and breathe. Deep
And long, and wide. Move on!

Discard

Filthy, flayed and gone,
Abhorent to phalanges now, as
Rendered droplets cluster, form,
Repugnant, cake, can't fathom,
Of squalor such, desire sated now.

Blemish

Earned in grime
Emblazoned for ages and
Swells offered brightly, been
Had and can't leave well alone, but
It's awful! Gristled, garish,
Ornament to bear and bare
Clean skin to Lancome, scrub,
Begging mark to fly.

Taken In

Grace, beyond measure or meld
Mind astounds mid this peace
Of tiny face. And feat
Beyond dreaming, finally safe
Surround in downy bliss and warm,
Cage, street, and lonetide,
Nuzzled and whispered away.

Stargazing

Do you
Ever gaze clear, find
Chill dread in distance of stars and
Fear in warm empty azure summer
Skies?
Has time
Ever brought you to knees
Paralyzed, jaw caught, to gasp
Internalize mortal weight, and
Cry?
And hope
Could it home in breast torn, in
Life atheized, abused to point
Of quake in clasp, inward bound,
Find?

Try

And I
Accelerate
Assume responsibility
Pursue connection, vault
Obstacle and gain, a
Measure of peace
And we
Deflect
Strange options met
Ensconced by solace
Frenetic bouts of self
In bond, in trust abide
And they
Illicit comprehension brew
Covet sans the chore,
Exertion laid apace beside
Can't have as you and I

Left

Err on side of
Judged rage, abashed
This quandary quakes,
Beneath and makes all rumpled
Covers fall aside, leave
Corpse, though wick, a chill,
A pall upon, for being gone.

Too Big

Absolve and find me! Wreak

vengeant rage a' they as wronged

Karmaic chrysalis I 

Dwell therein and seek

Fibers to sever, but nae!

A pouched cub, I writhe

But daylight sears 

Creased open keekers, 

Daren't face outside

Not yet - Allow space, 

But hold me, safe.

Superfluous

Done well, and finished
Packed away,
Sold! For farthing's twinkle
Gave o'er time, by rights
Given and un-poorly wrought
But not, by means of any
Perfect as I ought!
Good, enjoyed, admired - though
Less than compulsion requires,
And I, bereft of chances more,
Applauded, lauded, levy grace
To find a smile to paste this mouth
And face a night beyond
My imperfection.

Wage

Can, and do,
Will try so hard,
Beyond reason, past justice and judgement
Abandon scrutiny and fold, expand
Stage, unplanned redemption, flaw and flare
Completed, just to definition, this
Check-marked list longer by far
Than theirs, but Go, can, do! Fly and
Finish each thing, strong. Support,
Give effort and all, so amazing, the memories,
Achievements, things I'll make, heights
I'll ascend!
But I will be so tired...

Abridge

Tell me about yourself.

Ah, me: but who, which
Soul to bare and moments share
Shorn safety whip away and
Card so neatly, spin and
Weave which tale?
Give nickel-plated grin and gusto?
Depressed, success, misunderstood,
Convoluted, irrepressive, analytic,
Sweaty brow and heaving muscle?
Faithful, faithless, fearful, moody,
Careful, careless, caring, soporific,
Tidy, filthy, OCD, or wild and terror-stricken?
Bio of a million markers, scars
And meteors, now bound
To paragraph and page.

Turbulence

Weight bears,

Drowns drop on drop

Pounds, down and lee-side

Circling, flays.

Moan abreast, and find

each crystal flail a-splatter

Renders space invisible as I

Cup, sip, wish, watch, amazed

Want to fly in this, to ride

storm-astride to lift and foist

Tlaloc's fountain rage.

Anticlimax

Void.
Stride into
Should-be, strong
and tall, so slender wrought,
Ribbon-bound and breathless,
Painted, declaim! And ought
to feel more than this. Dreary
Pulse, sluggish though, and bright
Smile upon glamour.
Greet new devotees, embrace
Past love and gone way. Sway,
So slightly, grit and bear
Bravely dream of dreams today.

Fell

Hand
To face to feel to fold and
Hold, enfold in empathy and
Care, not jade nor turn, nor tear,
But bind, by merest touch
This beating core, for time,
With yours

Gaze

Met in fancy,
Swept by daylight's race
From view and notion fast,
So grieved unknown, retained not
Part nor partial to diurnal pace,
Pilot askew life's course, though
Inquiry begs to differ, no course
Suggested, direction ken by yearn alone;
Drive moonbeam's path to find
Envisaged, real, and face to face,
Passing fancy's reverie.

Bid

Glitz and lights
Number high!
Elect each item, found,
Tables, ticker tape aflow in
Sumptuous overfill and wine.
Cheers to this or other charity;
Pat back, each patron, clap,
applaud and laud and leave
Full-handed, piles of things
Unplanned and purse strings
Loosened much by wish
To far impress, digress, want
Luxury thing or that.
I found
A treasure or two
That night.

Kringla

Quilted warmth, stitch on stitch

Crackles grated in and POP!

Cocoon wrapped bliss 

Cocoa soothes, butter smooth

Absorb adventures out of pages

Hold, quiet, bluster out and drain

No need to face destiny today

Hidden from the rain.

Daguerrotype

Such color! Stain of amazing
Alive! Almost breathing, bleed
Saponin raw and abate.
Albeit, too late for this fancy
Bereft of romance, bright
Color, cool water, breath of breeze!
Rainier stands high - drive and climb,
Paradise beneath thee! And I
Scramble, little crab along,
Fire and ice carved canyon rim,
Abyss, fell water flees down, down
And in! Breath intake, glory and chagrin
Sob as all remembered falls,
Into undone past and fen, fain
Would I give searing ache away,
Should it render gone, one
Mystic, magic, mountain day!

Hebrides

Disarm eve's paramour, Clap in desperation
I do believe in faeries, Tink, I do!
Drunk the draught and I a flighty, fickle friend
I've run and flown and fairly lost and
Blizzard beat, I've swooned. Where's Nome?
Gritted fang and footpad spread, go
Onward - give greatly, count cheaply favors
Given; value high when got, receive them
Moved, as you are, altruist of self-deceit
So row, Michael, on, hallelujah!
Dock at Callanish's port, bow
And grieve again, in toil and heartache
Health and sickness, sorrow/joy
And crossed jots, Tesla's curse and cure
Written and done by Brynner's tone
Commands me there to sway.

Voice

Across space's gasping, grasping chasm

A reach, a reason dim spreads weakly

Petals strewn upon bald ground,

Beyond every damndest damn flung

Forth gone, bottle corked and tossed

Bobs beyond cleft coast, a missive

Lost! But time's betrayer, Fate, or

Luck, or guided Hand, or any

Reason brought away to spread

My word. You found it, broke,

Responded - oh, you heard!

Whelm

Beg each burden on

To climb, grip harder so as

Not to fall away. Pile on!

Lift and carry, Pilgrim!

Strain tendons, will, 

Credulity: can I

Do all this?

Clean ALL the things?

Be the best of me

Again? 

So tired, I beg

Overload to fall away, be

Gone! Leave me!

But then I find just

One more thing.

Honey-do list falls to me,

The list I wrote, to finish

Trails into oblivion!

Each hurdle daunts, derides:

Amelia flies and Orly shies and

Cornbread bakes and I've applied

Myself and won, directing Nana's 

Silly play and books are on their 

Way and I elect my own condition:

Never dull and never finished, but

Tired, oh so tired today!

Catch Up

Tread

In tor's shade,

Steady on.

Heather sweeps sweet scented,

Ruffled mountain's cape

Churn about my feet.

Craggy top bound,

Eye avert, focus

On each toe hold,

Hand to gravel,

Bring to purpose

Peak, 

Complete.

The Smell of Gentle

You know.
I can't explain it;
You remember!
Held in arms that knew you,
Wanted you to be
You, and saw
All faults and failings,
Didn't care. Cradled
You as you are.
Even just the once,
Held fast, held so,
Remember what it smelt like?
Peace, acceptance?
Love?

Hospice

Tightens, burns, I beg
Relief! Ah, sink,
Deft, gently stitch torn
breach to past, bring
Soporific, let me
Drift. Would I bask,
But Sol defies, I see
All blackness - cramping
Help me! Relieve! O!
Give me solace! Turn,
It's day again. Spent
The whole of last in agony
Or haze? I beg
Relief. Hear me?
Turn me, change. Oh! Didn't
Mean to soil. Shame - oh!
This morning, did I see?
A hand held mine,
Briefly.

Wed

Rock wall, stood
To crash, to rush
And flashing end find here upon
Shadow cast, 'gain blue contrast,
Save, resolute
And final, waves abate and
Splash! What show
And Solitude
Safe, these four feet
Keep me,
From sea's
Angry self, somehow a
Tame, predicted swell

Radio

Farmer in the Dell,
Roll on, Henry,
Face puffer wall, inflate,
Diffuse the fire and Fate
Smiles, apprehensive
Time, truth, or both
Led us back, Not
So different after all, Tim
Have a bit of
Faith in me, my little
Jewel, don't make me want
To make it better, Jude,
Beseech you please don't
Leave me
Sober
Now

Reach

Why not?
Worst thing, if I fail:
To fail
At just this one thing.
Trail feet in treetops,
Moonbeam's tail
Ahead, I grasp
Hands empty! But,
Only lack of filling -
Not empty again.

Sensible

Imagine
Ran away, I
Saw, pretended, met
Friends, frivolity
Ate, drank, merry-made, and
Live tomorrow, long
And prosper? But
Must apply, abide, arbeit,
Days in/out, toil on
To solve, attain, and keep
As Mine
These things? So -
So humdrum,
Acceptable,
So strong to weave
Cords attach
Possessions to me,
Fast! I labor;
I will work to
Make illusion last.

Cordis

Heave to! Tide waits none,
Nor we tarry, dawn encroaches!
Sweeps to sea, to stink and rot and
Creaking flight, to Open sky, to
Swells, to life! But!
Tug! vain, silly strings - tug
Beating, quavering polestar
Right about - and, beam of smiling
Turn wanderlust-rid seafarer back
To port of call, I shall not
Wander more, I shall not go
Gently into that cold night, I
Shall not leave thee, Exeter!
My gift, again my song, I bring,
I carry with me home.

Hold

Tiny token, this
Mini trifle, edge and haft
Of bliss, a pixie's lips not far left
A-trembling, trip air's wings lightly
Bring weed's trophy deft and flit
Grasped close, enough of dancing
Carry soft to land and root
Draw milk, drink earth's dew
Nestle, softly smile
And rest.

Hunger

Hours of moments - Want,
but wait, prepare, caress, imagine.
What will be when had, oh satiety!
I dither, dicker, hum along to
Radio and hymn - as kitchen bound
and lethal carbon's twist sought out,
platter present, and oh! lament! I wanted
Once. I did, I truly! What of all this
cavern's echoes caught the longing,
took it back and hence, now
rather than partake, I weep.

Today's Me

Contentment breeds.
Give on? Oh, it's fine.
No matter, the little way
a molehill, only. Ply trade
of deceit and pass this by
I can't be bothered to clean
that mess, so skip! Don't knock.
Here, I'm busy being peaceful:
have what I need and then
some wants fulfilled, least
not of all my fullest heart
So many loves to live and care
them all for. My lives and past
horizon glimmers, lace arm in arm
and fingers twine and skip. I
wouldn't miss this, though
Hell should bar the way, to be
today's version of this life,
I lead.

How do you Suppose?

What's the color of your pen, Jim?
Attorney fees collected, saunter off
Grab coffee. Just a little white one -
Coffee. Cream and crystal sugar.
Just a minor indiscretion. Pause
For relief of headache, tension,
Take a "pill" inside the whorehouse
Ease your nerves.
Don't be caught, Bill: though
All fib to hide our dark side,
All have to cover up, save Glenn,
Any others there?
Not to stare, as Matthew said, but
True! Deny biology and fate -
Choose to be faithful, cleave
to none other - though she changes?
Will's star-crossing eschew
Though she wavers, waits toe-tapping
nags, you napping, sighs, rolls eyes,
And yet!
Will you kneel, will you ask?
Fall into the trap, the task? And pledge,
Though all be lost, to lose yourself in this?
And risk?

Beast

Grog, spice and song, avast! Alas!
My mind I've hidden long, my cropped
locks gone, a-smear my smile and glance
to be recognized and seen. To shed
both frill and frolic, must appear as low.
In full dressage, I mocked the epic, found
enraptured public longed to see, to feel, to be me
and yet, was I, made up to seem as I
should be, should I choose the mirror, glare,
the glitz of adoration to my shoes
I walk. I sleep and dream.
The few, the proud, crew cut and clean
stand tall, side-step the dance I be
and twist. I drive to drink and play DD
I burn and flame in search, in spite,
in play and I play at being this, press mute.
Aloud and proud and larger than
coldest reaper's blade - I dodge,
one-two, that vorpal blade, begone!
No! Give to me! I hunt. I stalk
and trace, soft patterns on your face
and skin, embrace, and twine again,
seek out the ides, the ism, whys - give I
a rat's apparel? Addiction commercial and for
Swine! Have oyster's children, love them -shine!
I have found the Kraken and he walks,
he sleeps, he dreams
daily in my breast.

Over

Heat and humid heart have faced thee
Gone, Florence, let be! As have been
To come anon - patience! Let's fall and
Fall in sway will brighten, chill.
Bring the little death, flurry by, rise
And circle blue painted pole to say
Again to welcome, May abide
Enlighten all and lift, dune grass
In offshore gale to sway, in grey.
Remind me, sweep, of Ever and gone
Sigh and enter dog days on.

Worth

Not who you thought
I would be, not the Beth
To stay home sweetly, not
The all-devoted, shy, and
Musically inclined to bring to life
Borrowed ivory. Not studious, wispy,
Sad and lonely, soft and sickly,
Penitent and holy, gone before
My time so you could miss me.
Not who you thought
Or expected, not M.E.
To save some pages, not
The dauntless case for right,
Courage to face mobs and rifles,
Faith enough to fish for passage money, not
A lover to a leader and crusade,
Bring family to follow me, and teach
So you could hear me.
Not who you dreamed
I would be, not a
Little copy of you, not
A caterpillar chaser in
A kitchen take my shoes off,
Rest my aching, swollen feet! Not
Sad or lonely, soft and sickly,
Strong and twisted, oft outspoken
My beliefs you disagree
So you debate me.
Not who you thought
I would be.

Wait

And on
Drift, hold, paddle a time
Rock over, chafe, drain
And on
Imagine ticking, chiming, passing
Solitude no more, and arms
Enfolding, touch of care
And on
Pretend it's over, burning sun
Gone down and spent, salt
Encrusted self entrusted
to a Self of new interpretation
On
It must be over
Soon

Just So

Test over
Little one
The world outside wails on
Best beloved, let's stay
Inside and watch the rain
Today
Swallow. Chant:
I did not lose you
Did not fail
Taffimai, I went
And did, and found, and kept
Protected you as ought
Today
What mischief
Little one,
Will you make
When next we go about
To play?

Thatch

Apothecary gie me
summat t' fix awd aching:
I lost anither hope this day.
Hie to hame a' spare nae haste!
I quake a' greet a' tremble,
await yer luving arms' embrace.

Smelt

Burned and beaten

Iron, steel, worked as fitted

Whim and tally-ho and wield as though

Protectant shield, lance, awl, to span,

Minute flint spalls, aft and gone

Pour imperative, steam on! And build

Each spattering drop a testament

To ore of rock, to matter’s mind

To Mastery of glittery find, of stain

Of power, strain, sweat, Smithy, blow

Air to cool and shape and vent,

Air to chill, add blast torment to

Ready twisted, battered haft

Suffers to become as must

Core-self, real self, esteemed-high self.

Never to self-pity self, smooth, deft

As ever practiced, twisted, wicked blade.

Waif

Had I blinked, I’d

Have missed this little

Miss misfortune, had I

Stepped the other way:

Unknown passing on my head,

But somehow turned this way, a

Quivering, cowering lone li’l beastie

Trused me, completely.

And home we went, and home we are

Gone the days without those eyes

Sparkling, dancing, dart around my feet

And curl beside me, oh, little she!

Did I notice this piece missing, in life?

Or feel an emptiness, a hole, a place

That needed filled, awaiting

Little miss?

More Room

Bark fingers, follow Elle
Bend and snap and snap again!
Wrestle cousin, friend, own arm
For brighter day, unknowing:
Ra rolls on, supplies with D
Bathe chlorophyll-sought power
Render reaching faulty.
Root then for rain, twist
and shout at weight above borne
Pale twigs thickening, turn:
Envious and bold, grow on!

Zen

In twilight dim, along this road
Step, stay, skip and skim,
Pause, reflect, hale evening in.
Let loose the morning, noon, and now
Peace and still bring in to hold
Exert in motion, tension ease
And follow Sol in care to sleep.

Judge This!

From ash, from hemlock, fir and vine
Flit the wee things, hum and stir
Fern's gully shines, Meeko dives,
And Na'vi follow Toruk on-
If Santayana's folly true, we'll
Praise Dear Leader, adage bold
Become a Pastwatch series, fall,
Find Cristóbal Colón's Creator, take
Liberties with history's soul, evolve
and eke as Ik - have they remembered true?
Self-preserved, at infant's cost and wail,
No chance, but one, and grasped as life
Ebbs in, eggs on, crowds out the id,
Ego inflated, altruist again antagonizes,
Sigmund, I fear you see aright, and so
I parse and psychoanalyze my life.

Unfixable

Touch gently hearts and twine
Sparkling newness, brightly shimmer
Learn all new and dance in sunlight
Whisper nothings, stargaze write of Love
and slowly fit to grooves and mold and
One day find, that nothing new rends
Love less fascinating, chase is over
tea is cold and sink drain beckons -
This is over, done, and gone.
Now only left to break the news
Hide, wait, put off the heartbreak
Watch and pity, day to day, as
Love goes on unknowing. Pity leans to loathe,
Learns to look down.
Can't stand around and then
Someone smiles and lights your fire.
You must have this new thing: lust
pushes, draws you on and in, speaking
Learning, want to love new, leave the old.
And so, the heartbreak, at this last moment,
Made impersonal, ease your guilt,
to injure less, if only never known
Tonight's conquest plans. But what?
Dare to question you, your reasons?
Lowered, begs. Pity faded, loathing in;
No appeal can move you now. How dare
Reason with rejection? Go!
Before your new love finds, your past -
Humiliated, weeping, whom you loved before.

Curse of Happiness

Given roundaboutly
Deceit in mind, stealth to hand
A gift, a torment. Wounds flung open;
Swallow, smile and take the treasure. Thank
Messenger's hand caught
So gently stones betwixt and ween.
Cursed tiny flower, could have stayed
Roadside haply, given thoughtlessly anywhere -
to other heart. Other hand. Not this, not mine!
Re-draw shattered soul to fire. Is this to mend?
Melt edged pieces, mold a hold
To steep the roses, sip the joy
Happiness is happiness,
Route is moot. Is angst, this time
Is foiled.

Dervish

Forge, find, and flaunt it - exhude, exhale
Some way to breathe! Face and force
Focus, stare, glare and glimmer - believe!
Think you're this star shine, ebony pale
and in contradiction's echoed sympathy
Learn to grieve. And give, and burn for me!
Spin, grin, invite the flashing paparazzi in!
Nothing to hide means nothing's safe,
But no shame. Holds unbarred, light away
and trail those envied glory clouds
'Cross meteor-streaked wonder sky
Flail madly into outer darkness find
Emptiness and nothing. Fly!

Donum of Fides / Trepidus Mihi

Brutus' ally? Et tu you?
Sweet eyes have lied; I fell as did our CIA to
Hiss and Ames alike, I am no stranger here.
Dare believe in once and always?
Tim'rous beastie, plans I've made,
Ever after, striven for again
In dark and dim and dreading
Loss and fearing leaving. Oh
Beowulf slay my demon Doubt!
Fool me once and shame to lies,
But dare I play the fool anew?
In song, ride on, bold Highwayman,
To this Bess awaits your call,
in dark night, trigger mine.
A blast, as sought by Fawkes,
Enfold my works in fire, and Bang!
Believe? Dare I, Marion, flee
to the Greenwood Tree, and
give with you to they who need?
So strong am I, steel beneath this sugar sweet,
From disappointment, loss, regret: am I
Ready once again now, Pollard? Guide me
Win my "Hunnert Grander", heart and feet!
As tread on softly, steady, falter none
Believe? I want to! Bring me home!

Sing

Because I can
Music plays and bounds -
Why stand, toe-tapping on to
Merely hear and hum?
Wallflower, wilt and see
As she and he and he
Winnow in and flit about and
Hive and have and live and I
Look on, but no!
No more for me the side of things
No shadow's edge, peer from the frame,
I'll Be, be me, and he and he and she
Can see, hear and think what they will
I'll be and loudly so and find
My time and place and self in this
Night of deciding and dreading
And freely wheeling whirling mind
to fathom on the way I'll hide in
Open air and brash portrayal -
Fear will tremble, set aside.
Breathe deep, abandon peremptory call,
Lower lashes, unclench hands, and Sing!
Sing out, and long and loud of vindication
Empty into song all tension, strain,
Negatives and worry push out, away.
Drain! And leave stage empty,
Exhausted, savage, free.
A sponge to each next thing.

Tossed

Trampled 'neath careless discarded mess
Filthy and alone, hope abandoned, lifts
"saved" today for one night's stand!
Harsh morning's light sheds, glares,
Exposes inconsistencies. Now the one,
Or the first - which life better? Frenzied
Passion now, for chance of ruin? Or
peace and reprimand. O choose!

Tangles

Strings of this heart
Wrapped so tight round
Fearless stranger. Lie
down and give pretense all;
Stand tall for tiny something.
Face wished-on good, for greater:
Judge tomorrow, guess, divine,
And reason cannot fight these
Twists inside, and love like mine.

Today's Promise

Make same promise
Day on day:
To try,
To build,
Not success,
Just enough;
A step, though small,
An effort, push,
Brick by brick; this wall
Tear down and let
The sun shine in!

Writer's Block

Assigned creation, stare at space
Muse, I'd like, but nae mair seek
Nor mind's gaze to Lethe flit
Bare walls, a spider's skein
Attention's wage appropriate
Faults nor epic fathoms make.

Not Like Me

Impossibly far, but reach!
Beyond belief, opposed space,
Touch new and neverending, how?
For now. Today. 
Blend yang with yin and Tao,
Tie-dyed pang with hope just
Found. Hold fast, grit jaw,
And vow. For all and always
Mine!

Making it Work

No pretense
No balance, fragile: fear to break the silence -
Speak! And hear, and know all open
Here - small stings of real, avert
Catastrophe of built-up bites and strain;
Bind, build, and make a life
Of compromise, to last.

Scotch Broom

Dominated, frustrated,
Incapacitated by this;
Such a tiny thing, and lovely
In its way, brings
Misplaced blame, attack my
Self and wear away a
Semblance of ease
Golden froth
of layered petals
Muffle breath
And swell, and sear
Worn and weary me.

And Go

Found? Doubt evidence sound,
Exclude to exhaust and enhance -
Abound, expound reason to remain
Lost. Hypothesize ten thousand
Fireflies and fall asleep in bed of
Memory sweet, foam and form to me,
Set, gently, night, embrace me! Wait!
Embrace? Solo form aqui, and so
Arise and go, to rusty springs and
Terrapin, to pine and wait for two,
For evidence again, to be discovered
Understood, enfolded. Found.

Less of a Dork

Still carrying, moving

On, up, away!

Sweet milky tea I sip a while

Then shower tears aside and lie,

Say I'm okay.

Not so alone, and not afraid:

What left to fear have I,

After shattered dreams and hope

Rebuilt last time, betrayed.

Impersonal waste, the words untrue -

Sentiment aside! I wavered, gave

All to try, all selfless pride, 

Became the shade, set mess to rights, 

Abandoned shame and begged

for change. Too much, I should have

Stayed ridiculous and same. Not 

Evolved as someone subtly sane, less

Of a dork than I had been.

Dredge

Call forth lost times

As though to change 

If I re-analyze. Should have said...

Could have done...

Nothing. I am I and would do

Just the same, so why

Drag through old miseries?

Re-live dreams woken,

Correct words, not spoken in time

Let them go! But, as me,

At this time, to embrace

Where I've been: To enhance where I am,

Re-discover all the jigsaws fitting in

Instead of chasing shadows

In memory's fickle rain.

I Do!

Tread,

Inhale, one foot ahead.

Forward into this

Abyss of world and wide awake -

Belong and quake afraid

To lose? To keep me safe?

Or lose myself again in shadow;

Follow, imitate?

Retreat? Can't leave this,

Can't shake this dread, but 

I look up and, oh

My welcome! 

Tread,

Next foot forward into this,

Horizon of home and love and heart's

Sweet bliss ahead! 

On Edge

Lie back

Pretend comfort, peace

Reach, touch, clean.

Do things! Live here, 

Be real here, and how

not be Really here?

Check connection status

Online, in arms, distant, here

Blocked! and walled-in

Peeked out and slammed,

Withdrew again. Why my

defenses, paper thin, build

Walls of steel

Un-fathomed. Real

and I the other side.

And I Bleed

Not for hurt, not for time;
Ember of living, scab end flow!
Tie off so well, internal floods
tears of the inside, the being, my life!
Whispers of time flown and
can't be got back.
Tourniquet pulled and alone
to clot, attempt to stop;
Heal and undo, yet i bleed.

As Alice

Cheshire grin of sliver moon
slips round willow whispering
Shiver now, goosebumps abound
When Jabberwocky creeps inside and
Hunts elusive, centered mind,
Hidden long from drunken queen,
power hungry, cruelly sought
Tally-ho behind a fleeting flight
chased, mocking, prey that sought
exit from exposing flaws and
One by one, all cutting down
Sliced in vein in vain revenge
As shards of broken looking glass
bleed their crystal tears again.

Drive

drive the droves
in driven fury
fight this fiend's flattery
frantic with worry and
give on given graven goods
though grief stricken
go!
and learn to live again.

Earned Solace

Scramble

Grab roots, sweat and

Climb!

Granite under mulch and 

twists of vine. 

World is all warm dirt and grasp,

Strain as horizon

Breaks over crest;

Freedom greets my peace;

Emptiness, solitude

finds its place at last.

I Want to Believe

Endings

Many and many and more

So hard, a realist, I'm

Cynical now.

All ends!

And this,

It will go, much

as I beg lasting. Much

as I long, it will

End.

Like the rest. 

I don't, can't believe in 

Forever.

But oh,

Here now, with this,

Hope gleams, 

And I wish.

Learning Steps

Crave
This gentle jealousy
I see
The way you shine,
Reflect in eyes so proud
Have I ever shone so bright?
Ever, held so close in thought,
Been recipient of care
And wanted?
Worlds shifted for you
When you arrived
Cravings tossed aside, you became
The new addiction, reason to be!
And I, was I a reason,
Ever, even to share?
To care at all? But,
No begrudging, no remorse
Can I hold toward you.
How could I? You shine
In eyes so proud,
In mine!

Zolpidem

Ebb inside and work beneath
Drowse into being and slumber
Oh sleep! Medic aside, I tried
In dreaming's camp, on pillow rest -
Hours before I'm needed yet. And so
I pose as once I floated on and
bid the daylight pass along.

Desensitized

(This is why depersonalization episodes are horrible sometimes. I almost don't want to post this one.)

He dies
In my arms, on this table.
Compressions won't fix
his stiffening heart, yet I press
and press on
Come On! He won't breathe, can't.
And as I say "we've lost him"
My mind catches hold of an old
Joke. And I stifle giggles,
while she stifles tears.

Ended Hoard

How?

This place so big

Is this how home feels?

Safety? 

Scared of the absence of fear

Of stink, cramp, and horror:

We're all alive and clean here.

How?

And then, a change, a ride, a friend.

Is this home now? 

No bars, the walls so far away.

Is this how daylight feels?

Dare to run? Dare not? Space and sky and love,

And little me.

Drag

Do I ever remember
The bliss of well-rested?
Jacks lack of slumber, stalks
Attack as I rise. Eat, drink, and be
Merry all day. Manic, push, evade
yawn and giggle. Then as late arrives
Wide, wide those eyes and smile -
Now is my time! But to dream?
No, to be! This is me! And my high
and my drain. Someday I will
rest again.

Better than

Almost good and right

So close to fitting, squeeze!

Burst seams, but try

It's almost love to last and

Almost all my life.

So fall, yes, but drop and maim?

Abandon, leave crushed

someone you claimed to love 

until time stood still?

Fell apart, not quite right

But truth told, harsh and clear

More right than this, easier 

to bear than estranged tears. Go, 

if you must, but at least

Say goodbye!

Blood is Thicker

Run!

When facing can't break

Too much this risk 

to take with an argument

Maybe a failing to tear it away.

But run!

Too many sleepless and sobbing nights

Hide the crying 'neath covers

Tight around. Don't let them in

to know that it hurts!

Run!

Though joints and breath fight it

genetically so, was it planned? For shame, No!

Unintended rending, this, not abusive,

Said it's all okay. Said I'm a fool to go,

But run!

Build up courage to face

In time, heal, and make life thy own

My own. My defense, solace, place.

Trust in someone, if at all I breathe,

Finally give, finally care, just to grieve:

Waited so long for a shoulder,

I can only cry alone. Please,

Don't let me be alone. Or I must

Run!

Mulligan!

Terrace, course coarseles,
Nature sculpted smooth
Leaves bend as willed,
Wilderness, wildless.
Tidy acres glisten
a-dewed of sprinklers
ticking on.

Break into Canter

I hear your wildness
Hearts beat together, skip,
Test boundaries, cautiously
Untried and unsure, yet destined for truth
Earth core's stirred energies,
For both of us stored. I to ride,
you to run, and we
We!
Discover the greatness of whole
Of this race, and this place
under the wide Father Sky!

So Much

Gift
Spreads thin time:
Some taken for kindness,
Cleft hardening doubt and bought
By gentle thought and dear.
One tiny gift, gesture plain,
Lifted my world tonight.
I give thanks.

Evening

Day gone, flown on:
Come, Maude, the garden calls us still,
As jasmine, heady, sinks around and
Smog, polluted, vile, enchants,
Trails wisps of agate sky to twist
And eddy gentle, soft breeze lift
So mind's eyes drink in dusky dim
As cellar door lies open, begs
us lightly enter in.

Again

More?
Aught to follow, now
After Hell itself burned bright around
My cow'ring form,
Amid the shiny demons?
More, now?
To try again, to lift, to life
Though panic flight incites,
And cringing arm withdraws?
Quail? Not I...
But I, chill dread accept and turn.
Easier to face
The solitary road ahead
Than risk
Yon jagged, gaping hole,
Awaits my lifted eye!

Facing Tension

Hold steady. Hold and
Be! Thy ohm afloat,
Find peace and try, oh try!
Tennyson's "Courage" roams a loss
Beside despair in frantic eyes.
Dinna fash! My love, serene
Ever so softly, caresses. Wash
eddies of jetsam in air aside.
Hold, oh hold - echo Rose's plea
Give tension leave to pass
Marrow soothe and grieve as
Sorrow flows: let it go! Be sad,
stand gutless, stand guiltless, afraid and Be!
One in empty, full of grief, but stand
aside nirvana, don't let go!
Cleanse by bearing, find
amid emotions wild, thy peace
Surrender, breathe, and find
yourself for me!

Just Met

How so strong a bond
Friend for life of just
One evening? Meet
Random in the street:
Warm inside and smile.
Greet, fret none, sigh.
Embrace. Walk on, and I
Will call you if I need
You're there, no doubt
Faithful, fierce, so kind
Glory be the name of
Friend, one magic night
for life!

Foster

Handed on to better
Gift of farewell, lifted, gone.
Confusion, right, and good
Supposed it would be
An easy goodbye -
not gone forever, I'll see
how hearts will graft and twine;
Life with theirs combine.
Forget my home, my bed,
My entire involvement.
This was supposed to be
An easy goodbye.

And I Have

Love moves, inspires
I do for this, whatever
Anything. That's love
To do, to be
Everything.
And bliss is mine to find
I'm wrapped inside your life
And love, and arms
This time of holding on
Not perfect forever.
But good, oh, so good
For ever so long.
And mine.

Relay of Life

Walk
In the lane clearly marked
"For Runners/No Walking" and arrows
Snide tide, I hold back
because you walk.
Crookedly, slow,
Lap upon sweltering lap
I pass again, swooping
Around and gasp as I churn
legs, arms, and breath, faster!
Bitten tongue again,
As I swerve to pass and you
Walk
Though reading, or caring for rule, seems
not the strongest suit for you.
You walk. Slowly
to remember, and fight
To beat the demons.
You walk.

Abercrombie

Flawless
Sleek, and smooth
Tatters upon glory
Trailing seams of silken beacon
Tangle, tousle, touch again
And play.

Feels Good

Did I just exhale?
So much tension gone
Shoulders roll
Easy
Cold doesn't chill -
Warmth exuding.
My face: I've been smiling
All day.
Hold back nothing;
What is TMJ?
Acupressurized placebo,
non therapy-induced -
Is this what happens?
Accepted. Changed.
Feeling all I am,
Alone, but safe,
In momentary lapse,
And I relax.

Daily Grind

Life intrudes
Give way for daily rote!
Make time to rush
Steal a kiss or three
Smell the flowers
Be
Between sinks into
Frantic, disheveled
Reality

After Trauma

I only hate when I remember
Only when it burns
When I remember
It shouldn't take forever
To remember to forget
That I never have to
Never need to run
again, from this.
Never need to hide
No more fear,
If I can just remember
to forget to remember again.

Imbalance

How good is too cruel
Amazing, wrong for you
Can I take all you are
Laughing
Never look over shoulder
See you broken as I stay
To play, today, for all forever now?
Facade, escapade, mystery so plain
Between you and a hard place, your face I adore
Abhore I crumble to dysfunction
Imminent and breathing
Stupid is as does, I suppose I fell, you do
Daily take my shit, always fall for it,
What to see if you can take it
Make it right for we? I'll try
Mind, it's right, over matter, fine!
Give my breath,
Time
Together, you're mine and I find
that I can't stay amazed again
So now don't wake, softly
As I leave you. Don't dream
of me, turn in your sleep to hold what I can't be
There, messed in my mind, wrong
When you see I don't know who to be
Wrong for you, maybe wrong for me

Fairy Tale Ending

Mankind's potion,
Faust aside
Accidentally cruel, or
Mistakenly kind?
Pity in weakness
or sorrow for shame
Out your own window to
Weather your foibles and
Burnish your affluence
"Know thyself" then and today
lay thy plans, storm dungeons
o valiant, mouse of men;
Retreat and beat the hand
that fed you as a babe
and raised you up to curse the day
you birthed and bawled and
met the world, a new bald scraeling,
Empty pages yet to fill - to tear
and scribble out, erase and pen -
Scribe thy saga, Cinderella of this
Misery now, but faithful at last.

The Biggest Difference

Am I seen truly

in wonder or settlement?

Find in my freedom

your own, or new shackles?

I am the same

And you, oh you both sides affix

and afflict with intention!

And on in eros, in eras, in space

See me, see destiny! or cringe at the lowliness,

brought you to find me: brings home and you here:

High is the pedestal, lowly the loam, 

Chasm betwixt too immense to be breached.

And so, shall you keep me above or beneath?

Hair Coat

Sleek lovely shades caress
with care, tear out
what lies beneath
No need to buffer
from chill and wear
undercoat of armor
Stripped to fit
Accepted norm,
Now be seen invincible
not appearing unprotected
As you are.

Forever

It always means
Until
Nae, I mean to stay! Protest long
And loud - not I, to falter, hurt you, leave.
I am not the same as he;
I'll not leave you behind, nor go on without.
I need you. Need.
Forever.
Protest loud and long
It always means until:
Forever

Monster

Seen as darkness
Broken, vile
Bad inside, and wrong
Why this mark, this scar?
Step away! Why?
Oh why did I look?
Oh, Christine!
My love has let me go,
I peer beyond,
Un-allowed to see
I saw the key, withheld
and held against me
I have answers to questions
Unasked, and to riddles
Unspoken, having seen
through the ring of ice
Inside the beast, the way
to unwanted peace.

In this Bubble

Harm none
Heal, rest, ponder
Laugh aloud and sing
Alone. With me.
Touch lightly
Love fully. Breathe.
Keep compassion,
Remember to thank
Those who please.

Understanding Sylvia

Wider smile, shimmy and clap
Add in volume, quick retort
Witty banter, intellect abounds
Between bouts of brawn
Frenetic motion, some erratic
Run, play, pound!
Encompass all in whirling frenzy
Edge of chaos waits in spite
holds in anguish, fear, despair
Until, as placed by loving hands
my bell jar gently rests from falling
atop my spinning world
and on the ground.

Leuk

Cells so tiny
How can they end
a beast as this?
I could break those cells and crush them,
Smash and quell them,
Make them cease to be!
Cells so tiny,
I could stop them -
But they're me.

Anxiety

Fight all known
Else unknown, you all
Afraid fight on!
Despair to lose, aye,
Dread to win - For then what?
In peace, jitters crave war
Endorphins crash into emotions
Bring the battle. Create your chaos
and stir amid it all the peace
Foregone of friends and lovers.

Joy

Where this optimism?
How it builds, elapses,
Still entangles! Eyes shine
Glisten, dance - lashes flow
frame gleaming shine.
Grin and bear with
Grit the days, enjoy
them one and all because
you Must. Escape deep darkness
Skirt all evil thoughts and whereabouts
forced manic extroversion key
to blessed oblivion of just
Happy.

Shower

Steam and song
rise, surround
scrub and ohm.
Tile warms; window builds fog.
Shreds of care, of worry
ebb and ease with
Rinse, repeat, re-sing refrain
Tension leaving, left and gone.
Terry-wrap and faucet turn,
and sink in solace,
Mab to seek.

At the Jetty

Balance, pose
Flare to flair and then,
Let go of driftwood, lift on air,
Land in sand and then,
Dance light footed, break to run.
Elicit landed murmuration's
Sparkling, swift, and sweet migration,
Off jetty's sandy shoulders as
Solitaries left behind jump,
Flutter from the wave.

Sweet

Kind, soft touch, so new?
Sorrow for lack
for gentleness unknown
Peace unenfolded and arms unembraced
Never felt?
Weep for missing touches
lost caress, imagined hand
to hold, shoulder to lean.
Mentor to guide
lover to lie. Oh
Lack of indulgence in peace!

Migraine

End,
Please,
Or replace!
Unknown terror better
than unquenched ache -
Tugs and binding tight
Bands of steel, drills of ice
Inside the melded mind
Of I, and why?
For care?
End, gnawing,
aching pain,
Oh, end!

Morning After

Same place
New
How, magic,
chamelion-eyed
saw tearing shield,
calloused arm?
Etherium
crash down
Bring sorcery
Here
Abound amazement
Smith's orbs
Wide to see, as
Neophyte to joy
This time around

Dirge

Barely knew
Who
A few stories, a song
Laughter, deception
You to her,
She to them? When
Did you know?
To grieve more
What's gone,
Or should have been?
Reflect her, in life,
or just in tears
Shining as they fall,
Bear witness to loss
of another.

Open

Rubble strewn
Gravel hid
Amid
The trail of gone
Amulets lie
and I
Alone
Plod on
See beyond
Open eyes
Vista of all, pass beyond
The rubble and sigh.
Sky is wide
And I
Lean on
Open

I wanna be a rock star

No one can touch a star:
Bend or break them
or make them unhappy.
No one can catch a star:
hold them or keep them
or change them in any way.
No one can touch a star.

Love Song

There are so many songs in the world
That say what I'm dying to say
There are so many poems and phrases,
So many words in the way!
But it isn't my voice singing those love songs!
It isn't my heart swearing those words!
If I had more ways to say it, of course I would,
And If I had music, I could play it, play it good!
But that's other people's music, other people's songs;
I didn't write the lyrics, but I can sing along.
Then it'll be my voice singing her love song.
My voice, from my heart, slurring her words, her love
To her you.

Mediocre

I like to think that I
Would have chosen this life anyway,
not wait for the magic click,
but then it was a perfect fit.
Surprisingly enough, it was ok with me
Being submissive,
Giving in, not baring hisses.
Come home soon, purse on shelf
Tuck me in, hold me tight.
Suffer the night,
For promise of
One more try, by daylight.

There's a passion in standing still,
Floating with the grain,
Something heroic in being mediocre,
So I would do the same again.

Hero

You don't have to ride a charger
With a suit of chain mail
And a sword in your hand
To be a Hero
Don't have to contend hand-to-hand
With fiery dragons
and be knighted by a king

You don't have to be brawny and fair
With a mountain of strength
And a mind to compute
To be a Hero
All you need is to care at all,
to want to make it different, offer
your hand to lift a friend
To be My Hero

Faith

Life's blows, punches thrown wild
She counters!
Fire chases,
She feeds death to flames awash in waves!
You see,
for you, she fights the dragons.
For you, she will be strong.
When defeat looms close,
And sorrow lends a curse or two,
She holds you up, if you allow.
Believe:
That she can love you, set you free.
Trust her, please!
Why won't you trust her?
She is
Me

Aroma

Deep, rich, dark
Distance, wealth, lack of light
Sweet is taste, wild is why.
How to say a smell of warm
of purring fur, content
How to convey
This feline form of grace
Stands upon me
Rubbing cheek to face.

Maya

Stone on stone

Moss on all

Ages gone

Jungle crawls and creeps around and on.

Tomb in air, crumbled

Rot and ash

Flies buzz, grass

Grows and spreads

Bird calls cackle and

All alive the stone

Calls, warm. I lie

Spread-eagle atop acropolis and drift:

Hear trades and lives

Families, wars, and eons

Of life amid this jungle

Stone of fire.

Club

rhythm. tock ticka tick tick
boom boom
thump the floor
shake - Move! Don't know the
words or the steps or the flow, just
Go! Dance! Be!
Strangers sweat in sync sway
to melody's harmony
Twist! Turn away, exhaustion
finds its way to stumble home
still trembling to the beat.

Rest

Ohm aside, drink in wind's face,
hear secrets of night crackles.
Find solace in shivers of lone:
tremble and treble and Gone!
Song of misnom, song of lack,
Song through wake of waves that
Splash! And attack lonely bring
Empty to self and echo alive.
Found steady a beat as I quake
and let go at last of the angst.

Smitten

Crooked smile for me

Slipped out untried

I love to see the way

I’ve made your moment

In this moment I

Have won this play

And if this moment’s all

The magic I can make

I’ve made it full of wonder

For you, and so, for me.

At the Party

A past repast apart aside

I sat alone amid the crowd

Of conversation not imparting

Mindful eyes appraising, darting on

To visit hence and thither, yon round

Cheer and vigor, wishes well,

Soft words spoken, whispered

Tell me crackling log-fire fables

Carry on.

Death Valley

Devil’s art to glide

smooth desert-path astound

masses rise to wonder

as knowing few glower

mask informed opinion

and proud. Bent on preserving

Fickle favorist deception

Mid agonized self-spite.

But having explanation

Un-expounded breeds contentment

As devil’s race, march on!

End In Sight

Wrong again
Want you out of my head
I thought I'd think once or twice
Then token paid, advance
Think I'd be alright
Everything fine

Messed up again
Shake me loose!
Fling caution aside
See you again! And again.
Now I am whole, home
More than one.
A thing so right
Everything fine

Don't understand
Figured out again?
I left and hurt you
And you returned for more
Now we're ours
Perfect blend
Everything's fine

Scream and rage,
Crash against the cage
Hurl insults, shout curses
Do all to make it worse and
I love you
More than I want to
But that's fine
Everything's fine

Junction

Mine or highway
So it be
For you, her, me.
Life bites -
Make it bleed!

My limit's reached
Not by your push
But I won't pander,
Follow your lead

Hang in longer
Let it slide,
You want that I should?
Yes, but not for hire

Be rave, maniac
Argue none
Tread on me and
I may flatten
or soar:
grasp ever higher
or embrace this floor.

Quail

Can't.
Because she asked?
Too humbling, to fill a request?
She asked for need: she's empty
Do it!

Can't say.
Because he's hurt you?
Can't put feelings on display?
He must mean something: he hurt you
Risk it!

Can't be yourself without apology
Fear how the world sees?
How does the world see?
Notice your quirk and passion?
No, the world moves,
You lose.

Midnight Muses

Exhaustion creeps
Withdraws as terms and epithets
and Flaws abound around the
Synapses impounded mid endorphins
all encoded double helix showed
A tentative assumption to be
Right and know exclusion of devotion
In a less enchanted sphere.

Inhale

Brush
Touched
And I spin through
The center of all
Sagittarian-bound fall
This warm find,
Close
And hold me
Tonight

More Haiku Again

Hillside covered with
Swaying grasses in the wind
Looks like a ballad

Ever my only
Sweetest and bitterest dream
How should I follow?

When truth only hurts
And there is no right answer
Don't ask the question

What is gone is gone
Fading in the distance like
Sirens in the night

Crisp and shiny fruit
Tart-sweet juciness tempting
Downfall of mankind

Comfort when I cry
Do you want to understand
Or just hurry by?

Here's My Delilah

As Sampson let himself be shorn
For you, these locks of love, I've worn
Savaged mane of Aslan's how,
Gold-tinted glory, given now
So run, Delilah, sing and play
Defy in joy this players' stage!
On which without a glowing crown
And twisted face in sodden frown
You wilted, caught by dripping Line
Within ward's cheeriness confined.
But turban-gone, now flaunt your crown
That, oh Delilah, love cut down.

Liberi Non Sum

So perfect
If I dream you
And don't make you
The world won't break you
And they can't take you
Away. Hey
I love you
More than I could show
By anything to say
And games to play
So I don't say hello
Won't let you cry.
I refuse.
I can't let you
Hurt. Hey,
I love you.
More than I could prove
By any show of passion
Anything imagined
So I don't say hello
Won't let you fall
Can't let that happen
I won't make you
Hurt. Hey.

Just One Dance

Slowly holding me, leading me
Somewhere to stay for forever
Over so suddenly
And I have yet to sing
Is there a song in this moment?

What a wonderful gift and a dream
Something to stay in forever
This can't be meant for me
And I have yet to see
Ignorance is my bliss it seems

Again to your self and your silence
A comfort to feel for forever
Over eventually
But I have the memories
Trembling and fearing: they wane.

Fading and slowing
The music is going
And I finally sing
It is ended
This dance to last forever: over
Done.
And I am changed.

So thank you again for this slow dance
Thank you for filling forever
With a moment so serene
Something I have never been
Thank you for that safety.

Broken Song

Lyrics rhymed, flowed
melody inspired beauty,
hold fast to mast or line
let follies fly - cast sorrows overboard!
Sang of truth, hope, healing
Of
Song breaks
Wrong note struck
a few times many
Who listens? Empty sighs
a breeze?
Air, a call
Clamoring. Who hears?
Broken verse to my broken tune
Dischord and down, away.

Adrift

you turn and the world
follows along
riding the wave so high
i tumbled in
now flail in your wake
mid wreckage strewn
and cast-off
and the world turns
away.
you spread and spin
and the world loves you
without your approval
as you spin, and ruin
and add remorse
as the turn loves you
as i do,
left behind.

Can't Have

Slow to heal,
Each sight a sore
Some bittersweet
and some wound fresh
A slap atop the pain
kick fallen form
Tears unbid
choked in
wait for that shoulder
warm embrace
that walks away.

Can't Take Back

dare rescind so
a gift given meant
to stay gone?
presence of present
to lighten and lie
in the light of the eye
given on.
But not long
ere abandonment irks
this forsaken find
of a gift offered freely
and given, and gone
yet left in the memory
of gift giver's gone.

No More!

Bless!
Feline comfort
Lounge in sunbeams
Grooms awash so zen
And be
Tranquil fountain
Run cross stone
and cycle through
Lilt
The way
I
Lie facing leaves
and breeze
Forest heals
Trees hold
Moss knows
All.

Distance

I reach
Hand won't feel
Eyes don't meet
Alone but here,
Fidget and fret
and shuffle feet
as hearts turn
Away.

Just Be

Stop
let in the night
crisp,
wide,
wild,
waves and sand.
wind in my hands.
metal air of rain to be -
heaviness of cloud.
Can't imagine going back
to the world, unless
I take a piece of peace
home with me.

my endless

sweet, sweet candle
light my room
fragrance of
sweet memories dance
and bliss to be
ever, and ever
sweet candle flame
home beckons
fill my confidence
feed my flame
no condition
hurts aside,
I love
and will
all of time

Eager

Have I been
So long, un-fascinated?
Without wonder?
Gone?
That spaciousness,
Kubla's walls, ice formed!
And so - ah! I see them!
Dear neverwhere, dear atoms
Salute, embrace, and see,
Astounded by simplicity,
See life, see worth,
See who this joke's on -
Feather scent. Just breathe!
Have I so long not heard
Calling, cawing, raven's lore?
Stones of voices, lilt thru seasons
Forgotten? Ever, nevermore Poe!
You saw them, heard, and fell
As I in madness whirled, a time,
to live a time to die. For
every season has a home
and every mood have I to find
a reason onward, Holst to sing
My universe to crown.

Enough

no drama in the sunset:
a subtle line of hues
edges cumulus darkness
cloud banks, deepen as
a slice of bliss peeks out,
Soft sigh breeze flicks by,
Little balm for eyes that ache:
enough for now, tonight.

Building Optimism

Glue won't hold this glass together
Bind the shards and hold them still
Leaks and lesions spill the diamonds
Half-full glass worth's water seeps
into the ground. Again, and slips.
More adhesive, bandage all,
Melt and re-mold, sloppy, small
New glass misshapen, globby, rude
Filling slowly, ashen rain
Trickles in with many a pause
Spills a little, as I shake, but
Someday glass half-full again

Span of Attention

Lovely
Fun, Amazing
Gaze on me, rapt.
Hold me and never let...
Tomorrow the same?
Know me well
No more surprises
Repeat again
Embers from flame
And then,
A new smile
Lovely.

Karuna

I wrote a letter today
And trembled
And didn't "send"
I put all the words there
To show what I meant
I wrote a long letter
Another, and then
Yet one more letter
And I didn't "send".
Why to say I am spent
Can't unfeel the felt
And I'm still so upset
And I come softly down
And end with a pause
That I want to be friends.
And that letter was gone.

A Letter

Dear Sir,
This world, is it mine? To do as I must, or as I will?
Then why, Sir, won't it bend?
This mind, fractures at discrepancy, altered as I may?
It won't bend, sir, it wont!
Why Sir, must I bend
To make the echoes roll.
In this world, my own, I'm the one to change, to form
To make myself new again and see
the world a different way.
I think I understand, Sir.
I'm closer than I was before.
Thank you for your time, Sir
Sincerely,
Prodigal

Raudra

I sang a song today
So angrily and loud
Echoes all the tiles around
Tones exquisite
Stellar sound
Unleashed diaphragm
And tongue
Explored in rage
The oft sang song
Of pure betrayal
Loud, and long.
Then, out of breath,
And pain outspent
Quietly towelled
Spun shower dial
And sought my day.

Jilt

It won't last, not forever
Do we seek what isn't there?
Humans, flawed, designed to care
To fall in love, to then eschew
And in turn fall for something new
Did I ask for forever?
Or maybe just for understanding
Maybe just to know why I was
Being tossed aside this time.
Maybe explanation - hope I didn't
cause my own demise.

Nothing Stupid

I know that I promised
I wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
To leave behind so much, so many
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
To waste the time I've spent and then
Risk not adding to the greater good
To leave without an exit sign
Never care again. Not mind
If what they say is really right
If anything was ever mine
My mind, my solace, my time?
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
Find emptiness and follow demons
Down to where I skated last.
Down into the bitterness.
Down for thinking that I could
Deserve to earn a little good.
So standing on uneven ground
One foot on the ladder, and one down.
Fight again? Work longer, hard?
Give up, lose, let down, cause pain
Grief and suffering, pass on blame?
Could I be that bitter, cruel
To let others bear my burden? No!
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
I'm in for the duration. Toss me where you may.
Say what you like, Pierce and defile.
I'm in this foolish game to stay!

Joke

Success measured, gained
Brought things. Thoughts,
Places of dreams.
Wealth settled for instead
Of What-might-have-been,
Peace forsaken by
Windswept momentary joy.
Thrilling time slides
Brutally by and scars
those caught in flow
and wake.
We sigh, in lapse
of essence. Breaks in trauma.
Seek no attainment, won't be had!
Journeying, can't stop/look back.
Past gone, future foregone,
Regret nothing, but sorrow all.
Dying to rise, yet living to fall.

Adbhuta

I went to the forest today
Chakra cube entered, theatre game
And Away!
Felt underfoot loam, and needles and moss
Inhaled the deep chill of glacier melt air
River flow on, Face the sun!
A curve of Quinault, and I'm halfway in shade.
Director brings down, and
My peace slowly fades.
Although in my character
Driven by wonder
I went to the forest today
For just a short time.

Judge

Proverbial heart
On a page
Open for any
Dissect as you may
Have I to lose? Hide?
Have I shame?
No, Nae! Never no more!
All bared and abandoned
Must bare all again
Why to hide? Make it easy?
Quench the pain?
No. Nae. Never.
All out, enlightened
All out on stage.
Given away, all to take.

Wall

Doesn't hurt
Can't make me
I won't be
Here
Withdrawn and
Brazen and
Trembling I'm
Here
Don't find me!
Don't seek me -
Just leave me alone!
Can't understand why you'd
Pick me, I'm not like you
Not what you want! Never
Could be
Don't ask me, I'm
Broken, don't follow I'm
Fallen.
Don't want me, if I can't
Don't want me. Who is me
To be understood
When I'm all unraveled
Here.

Love is a Safe Space

Thrills extending
Exhale deeply
Lean now on
A kindred chest
Swirling tingles
Thru rocky tripway
Flow minds through
Together bound
A prize, a journey?
No! A peace, merely joy
Abound here and now
In this love, this haven
These arms of my own.

Too Much

Sweet, pulsing, sticky
Ever so many
Schmoopy all over again
Faster, farther
Whirl, sprint, bedazzle
Win again, more!
Never a doubt, hesitation
Chagrin
Point and you own what you
Loved at a glance
Easily swayed, pursue new romance
Dollars are plenty and
Boringly same
Never so reaching, enduring
No shame.

Now What?

And then,
Edges crumble
Banks wash,
Sink deep, sand quicks
still I stand
but now,
No pedestal
Nor high ground
Goal? Aspiration?
Found ruin here
Opportunist theft left
And I exist
Knowing, believing,
Hoping
Not for this.

Self-(doubt) Awareness

Never meant for (happiness) this mess...
Made so strong (to bear all) by standing tall and wincing none
Too far (to fall) strength and honor (gall)
To be one of the few (alone) the proud (still alone)
No pain (exquisite though it be) no gain (none I see)
Dual answers abound (rebound) and sound (akin to parody)
Which be wrong, and which be me?

I am Jack's Living Truth

Soma, somnolence asleep
why so solemn as we dream?
sweeping solace, slumber deep
elusive hibernation sweet
dozing drowsily descending
land of nod i duly seek
spoon to snuggle, silly me
to think that I could fall asleep!

Consequence of Will

Scar atop, cut buried deep
Wasted effort? Burn beneath
Waiting, Chasing, Plead for this
Humiliate and bend, for just a glance,
Tho unbalanced, risk intense rejection.
Fail! Chance's taunting echos fly, and
Churn, devouring.
Worth it?
Aye.

Owned

Heart given
Hopes and all
Awaiting a question
To settle
my Yes
To finalize the gift
Persuaded I gave,
dazzled shone your eyes
and I
Shone for a moment
Dangled on an edge
Awaiting a question
never asked.

Galvanize

Let it beat me?
Just dare try!
I
Won't
Sink again
Why?
I'm broken
Hurting
I'm angry, and I need
Something, I don't understand, I'd
Give anything to cry
Stay, hibernate, endure away
In secret, hold on weeping
Wait away, but let despair
Take over?
Just dare try!
I won't be had, unfair or no
I mean to triumph, on my own
Worst can be: do well alone
Winning fame, though
banned from home.

Mismatch

Did it ever make sense?
No! But we loved anyway
And fell more, again.
Incredibly binding that freedom it was:
Compromise anything, overlook flaws
Reach to a habit, becoming so trite
Never made sense, but oh
So, so right! For a time
then so wrong decide you, and I
soak in the shock of it, go
And I try to make this make sense
This new way I am, this
stranger who's fallen so deeply in vain,
fallen into routine and in status quo
fallen into your life
and not yet out again.

Leaky Roof

When hard work isn't enough,
Walls fall,
Patience fades
And you keep trying, fail
I see you cry,
Stand by,
Can't seem to share your pain.
And then it rains.

Feels Like Forever

So hard now, to wake up
To learn how far I've fallen
Be brave again
Where was my mind?
I found it, but now, you're
Still in there somehow
Tucked away.
Now you're far,
And it's gone
Far too late.

Betrayal

Trapped
In a world of stars
Split moment of sun, dark home
Clutch air, bitter tears
Heart given freely,
Taken away
Web of lies,
No matter the fight
Lost
In framework of function
All I want to be - at once
Nothing!
Destitute, shadows twisting
curling feathers in
This lonely waste
Of me,
for me,
pain instituted by me
Benedictine.

Inside

i am not rich i might be quick and i do not appreciate
All the things you do for me you always give i always take
And i forget that i forgave you as i'm piling on the blame
Oh the shame, it doesn't faze me in the joy is i'm insane

I could tell you that you're stupid or you're crazy or a loser
I could say it really fast and then you wouldn't understand
I could go on really muddled and you'd worship me forever
And you wouldn't know i fake it all how do you fancy me

There's a time for being normal there's a time to be real smart
And i do not know what time that is i'm falling all apart
Cause my seams aren't all together and i'm just not what i seem
And i won't give up crying blood or ever learn from memories

Blah blah blah so i'll make up some more lyrics
Throw out lots of theory data lots of dirty words
And maybe they'll make sense to you they don't make sense to me
They're afflicted like a virus always some new strange disease

So i ate that rotten peanut and i died and went to heaven
And that old aunt suzie's boat ya know it didn't meet me there
Pixies float around my brain and they keep giving me this dream
Tomorrow may be my last day that's not quite real to me

Eternity Beckons

See the way?
Life laid out
Map of ever, follow on!
Hobble, contain frailty -
Eternity beckons.
Surmount all pain,
Sweat, bleed, fall, try!
Hampered by humanity
Sullied by misery
Push on, pass by!
Refresh, regain, revise,
Re-try.

Reunite

Sparks fly
Ignite the flame
Passion burns
Then dies again

Two souls
Alone, but then
Lovers kiss,
And try again

Years away
A gentle end
A soft embrace
Holding hands

Angel in the Morning

Sleeping,
Touch your face
As you're sleeping
I'm awake.
Tracing
Lines of laughter.
Kiss you softly
As you dream
Tell you everything's ok
As you sleep
I creep away.

Jealousy

Stings again
Jealous sword,
But a memory's
Just the past!
Not the here, nor the now
Not a threat!
Better? Different, yet
Comparing pales in moments
Almost bliss.
Promise greater love than he?
Not this! Not now, nor ever.
Better? Lies of liking.
Baggage in retro,
Finding home.

Amazing

Why misery?
You're brilliant, deserving,
Amazing.
I smile for you:
Be strong!
Smile too!
You're wonderful, caring,
Amazing.
I cry for you
more than you do.
Dry my eyes!
You're wonderful, here,
And you're mine.
Why lonely?
Believe me,
Meet my eyes:
You're amazing.

Don't

Broken
One more time
Why come here, to tear?
To touch with burning?
Can I see you, and not melt?
Not flame and wilt
Again?
Don't come here
to break,
One more time.
Does my breaking make you strong?
Don't come here.
Unless you mean to stay.
Please don't.

Soapbox

Can't shut my mouth!
Don't care if I'm speaking
Only to myself.
Authority means
Protecting precious, shiny things
From the likes of me.
Don't let me touch them,
But let me be!
Judge me
Condemn
If you don't want to hear my words -
No one makes you listen!
Hate me,
But let me speak!

Mr. Big Thing

Be a really pretty good girl, be a bratty whining whore, girl
Be what I want you don't be what you want, girl
Don't be a freak out throw a conniption fit
Just stay my angel, stay my little prissy bitch
So you don't like this me the way I say this
How do you expect that I should take this bullshit?

Throw me another bone, a riddle from your big throne
Give me one more damn direction, tell me who and what and how to function
Mr. High and sweet and mighty Mister big thing your mental power's tiny

Be a really smart girl, be a supergenius servant girl
Do what I say you don't know what you want, girl
Don't have a habit, don't, cause you can't commit to
Don't dare to breathe you don't have what I'm into
So you don't want the me the way I do this
How do you explain why you hold me to your bullshit

Give me another chance another time to show you what I have
How about some more instruction, so I know who I am and how to function
Mr. kiss my boots and kiss my ass, yeah Mr. Big Thing, I'm all for that

So break me down slowly and then you build me up to something
To a model of designer freak I'm pretty I don't say a thing
Why not get yourself a nice inflatable toy
You demented, abusive, pathetic little boy
Why not tear down something not real to begin with
Why not get some mental help instead of living in this bullshit

Moment of Regret

Well,
I'm waiting
It's all over, isn't it?
I'm done with, gone.
You don't need me now,
Okay.
I never needed you anyway.
Or loved you
When I swore,
I lied.
And when you left,
No! I cried!
I had to say some things...
But I didn't mean it.
Like I don't mean this.
This blood isn't mine. Never touched that blade.
Never could be perfect, that just wasn't me
And I'm finally starting to see
That it wasn't you either.
And I made a mistake
When I cut
on my wrist
But now it's too late.
Only,
Wait...

Migration

We will go
Wherever you blow us,
We will roam
Empty and homeless,
We will live
Every second life gives us to know!
We are the restless, the wanderers
On our free roam.

Night, and the wind's blowing
Hard, and the rain's falling
Fast as I lift my face
Drops dripping every place
Bright, and the moon's shedding
Light on us all running
Ever around and which way
To escape the confusion and
When the clouds cover, and
When fog rolls over, I
Can't see a thing!
Fear is all consuming
Help us please, blow us free!
Terror surrounds us, whip us faster
to flee, don't you care?

So What?!?

Doesn't matter
No one cares
Yell it to the sky-
So what?!?
It's raining
dark, wind blowing
Lights out
You're crying
I'm going,
but we've still got a while to pretend
and to play
Sky's falling, mom's calling.
So what?!?

One More Day

One more waking
Wash, dress, go!
Doing all the things I do
Work, play, grieve, say
what I need to say to help along
Goodbye.
One more sleeping
Nestle in, read
Shiver, tell myself about
the pick ups, fall downs
All that happens in between
Waiting.
Evening and morning and midnight and noon
Can't concentrate on what's going on
As I dilly and dally and fritter my time
Waste, maybe, just, maybe just one more day.
Waiting. And waiting.
For you.

Rage of the Opressed

Cowards! You let this happen - you let this be!
Turn, and submit, and shrink from threat of pain -
What is pain?
Do you not feel it, know it in your bones already?
If we die, it ends.
If we fight, if we FIGHT, it ends!
By our own choice, we can live like rats or like humans.
Slaves, or heroes.
I'll stay no slave!
Not me!

This is what happens

A tiny soul
in a tiny space,
with a little nose and tongue and smile
appears
to stay a while.
And his little eyes dance
And he needs you - for a while
And he stretches and grows
And eats his dinner
Or not
And he loves without saying he does
And he learns
To keep clean or not
To be kind or not
and to love - and to say it or not
And his eyes dance
And he plays
And he naps
And eats his dinner or not
And fears
And shines
And doesn't need you - after a while
And he keeps clean or not
And is kind or not
And he sees the world his
Way and you see it
Yours - and he loves you
and says it or not.

False Touch

Ever searching for meaning, direction:
A book, a song, a lie!
Deeply feel, weep aloud, change your life, be
Inspired, be
raped and cleansed and defiled
by the story. Let it wash you
free and make you strong!
While all the small things,
silly, weak, daily things,
inconsequential real things
leave them lay, let them be
Push them to the background, violently!
Reach instead for the faraway, the hero, the Saint,
Who will love me and won't try to change me,
not the stranger who might need me.
Throw out your sentiment! Abandon your mind! Love is for fools!
And the very wise.

Things

I miss what
I hated
Cry when
It's gone
For things I wanted
and have
For things I wanted
and don't
Cry
for my
Almost life,
if maybe,
I was stronger,
Could have been.
Cry

Perfect

Perfection's what we wanted
Worked for, earned, and got
and I played the harp softly;
your watercolors turned out lovely;
we had a perfect life to live
to love and fear and rot.
Where is the passion in perfect?
It's missing the joy of expense!
Painting, lay by, Harp sit quietly!
We've got to get out, get work done
Get away!
Perfection's what we wanted,
Not knowing what it was
And then we end up stuck as
Living who we're not!

I can't choose your battle

You let it go!
It doesn't matter, you said,
It's just a small thing, he made a mistake
And how does it hurt me to turn away
Instead of staying to fight?
It's a better way to handle things.

I know, but you were right!
You were right and he was wrong!
Doesn't it gall you? You're so calm!
I'm angry, and bitter, and nurse the hurt along.
Why not stay and prove your place,
let him be the one to leave broken, shame-faced?
Can you really have the kind of strength
To leave, and let it go, and really move on?
And let him believe he's right, with you wrong?

Take it Back!

I think I won the fight -
I hurt him!
I saw him cry. My witty words
brought him down.
My head held high, I glance
My head held high, I see
I think I shamed my pride -
I wronged him!
I brought him pain. Those stupid words,
Undeserved,
brought him down.

Daze

A lifetime passes in these moments
as the world flows by,
and I wait.
For purpose, for reason, for someone to hold:
For a light to find my way.
Life passes in the minutes on a bus
bouncing slightly with the motion
As I stare
At the driver, the street signs,
The children that cry:
At the ridges on the floor.
I lose it in the seconds between shows
as commercials play
And I doze
Without dreaming, or caring, or thinking of things
To do when I'm awake.
Life flies by and flees
And I lose precious time when I forget
To notice the taste of the air I inhale.

He Still Loves You

He aches for you
He sees your face in mine
My laughter is your voice to him.
What happens if you snap
your fingers
And back he runs to you?
He worships you
Cries your name in sleep
My lips and arms and all besides
Does he imagine you
In my place?
He pauses when you're spoken of
Plays angry, but I see through
And hold on, oh so fearfully
To his secondhand heart he gave to you.

A Cruel Joke

Eat, live, and breathe
The fire of life.

Love it.

Die.

Shards on asphalt

Glimmering, glowing, shining waste!
Lethal force deprives of strength,
Slices; shatters spread around.
Tears adorn this once-glad face,
As a half-full glass worth's
water seeps into the ground

Ashes & Dust

Ashes & Dust
We are ashes & dust
Dust from the same bowl
Cut from the same mold
It's the same wind that blows
The same wind that throws
Us wherever we go

You land in the sun,
I, in shade,
I am cold, and you're warm
But my colors won't fade
and that's just for today.

Next morning I may catch
Fire and dance in the flame
As you fall to earth
miss the burn and the blaze,
But you'd be the one to remain

Some of the flakes fall together
Some snow drifts alone for a time
Why? And which flake am I?
I could reach out to you
but what good would that do?
If we all end soon - so soon!

And it's enough to drive one mad,
To lift my head in pride/crawl in shame
It's the same silly game
Being human.
I'm just human
Ashes and dust I see
And such I shall be

Ashes and dust
We are cold and rust
Doomed at beginning, we live but to end
The glory, jest, and riddle
Aye, the glory, jest, and riddle once again!

Room 101

Cold, cold
Waters swirl, surround me
Dark and deep.
Salty sea, it pounds me
Frozen in fright
All the darkest night
of my life
Ending now, as my grip
on the wreckage slips,
Finds me sinking,
Drifting down
into the mouth
of the Deep.

Sacrifice

Brave men aren't afraid to die
But if I fear death
Am I more human
Or less?
Should saving someone I don't know
Be greater
Than living to bless, in small ways
The lives of many I love?
Am I foolish to those
Who would give their lives for right
If I long to live?
Or wise?

Swings

"Push me higher, Daddy!"
I touch the sky with my toes
Fall back
Push
With his strong hands
I fly on the chained seat
Fall back
Push
"Higher!"

In Juliet's Boudoir

Ever art thou in my mind;
Parting's such sweet sorrow.
Shall we meet again, my love,
Today, tonight, tomorrow?
Should the love I bear thee
Ever fail to thrill me,
Or the love thou has for me
Should quit, the hurt would surely kill me!
Ever art thou in my heart;
Love, in my bosom, burns.
Darling, when we are apart,
For thee, my soul, it yearns!
'Tis sad to note I am alone
And have not thou with me.
I would that thou and I were one
And I at one with thee.

Rose

The rose
Once lived
Glistened with drops of crystal
Glowed with life
Then the rose,
wilted, dying
Brown, curling petals,
Softened thorns
Now the rose
dry and aging
Crackles at the lightest touch
Means the world to me
Means a memory of innocence
And a night I swirled
Across the floor
Dancing

Storm Break

For one moment
In the storm,
Clouds drifted apart
And the sun burst through!
Then the rain fell harder, deeper.
Day grew dark, turned into night
Thunder rumbled, threatened blackness.
Yet the thought remained
In my hidden soul
How for just one moment, in the storm
Shadows flew,
The sun's bright ray
Found me
And I found myself
Bathed in the light.

Duality

I versus She
She holds me back/I slumber
but sometimes
BAM!
In all my glory
I echo forth:
You cannot erase me, you
Cannot silence me forever!

More Haiku

This one pair of shoes
represents a world of past
Don't throw them away.

Ever so softly
Lightly tripping, dancing on,
The flames grow higher.

Dust and ashes, we
Lost among the rubble stones,
Finally humbled.

Laugh and play! Stay young!
If I could offer shelter
from the world, I would.

Clean and white paper
I write, I scribble it out.
The paper is soiled.

Right Again

I'm tired of being right all the time.
I knew that you would hurt me
I knew that you would lie
And someday you'd desert me.

It's not easy being right all the time.
If I had a magic wish, I would
Change my intuition, and be wrong:
Think I was strong
And believe you when you tell me that you love me.

I don't like being right all the time.
I knew that one day we'd say
our final goodbye, but I'm not ready.
I don't want to be right this time.

Be a Man!

Hey!
Did I make you?
Did I dip you in the mess you found?
Count to ten, or a million.
Hit me, or hit nothing;
I feel it the same, in your rage.
Be a man, or be human.
Be strong and brutal,
Or strong and in control.
Hit me or hit nothing.
Hit me and leave again.

Hey!
Is it better now?
Did tearing the world make it new?
Take a step back, or a million.
Hurt me, or hurt nothing;
You're not going to change, not today.
Be a man, or be human.
Be wise and critical,
Or wise and carefully kind.
Hurt me or hurt nothing.
Hurt me and leave again.

Sweet Madness

Beyond all this
Are we too angry? Independent?
What's the world if it isn't failing?
Falling apart down twisted
Circling
I'm learning from the madness how
Just to be mad enough
to keep it burning
Keep on hurting
Beyond this universe is a will
do I want there to be?
Then there's a Way
A way to be, to know to end this farce:
everlastingness, dischordant harmony.
In all this madness,
is there really room for me?

Winter Eve

Spin
Whirl around
Lazy snowflakes
Drifting down
settling and calming
Dim yellow sky
Glow and warmth inside
the world knows peace
if just one night
All serene
this once chaotic scene
as frozen kisses softly dance
And fill my world with wonder
at a glance.

Haiku

Falling on the green
Of budding leaves in springtime
Hear the gentle rain

An arrow of light
meets a falcon, soaring high
Softly now, he falls

Drip. A dewdrop falls.
The air is heavy with mist
Scented with lilac

My Regret

I had a dream
I saw you there
You wanted me
I loved you then
I had that dream
It wasn't real
I've been so cruel
You can't love me
I had a dream
It made me see
I'm sorry I hurt you -
Should not have been mean
I had a dream
And now i'm ashamed
I ask your forgiveness
Because of the dream

In An Age of Wonder

Rich satin air
Slips over my skin
Lightly brushes
How is it your hands
Calloused, strong
Recall to me dusk wind
Gently flowing, softly blowing
Feather touch of desert
In falling night?

At the Edge

Clench
eyes, claws, all
Whipping tidal storm expands
Flying grasses, garbage, I
Heave through sandy sky
Blown back and sideways in
Bedraggling, bewildering white cold rage
Rip my raucous call away then
Plummet into ground
Entanglements of sea snake
Tangle, strangle, wings at bay
Snap tendrils of weed, and break them
Half-bury in driftwood shards
Remnants of fragility and feathers
Screams of arctic air embrace
Quicken, drive,
and spin away.

Dissolution

Click
The latch drops quiet
No tumult. Done.
Softly, now, an ending.
The way to that life, that door.
Closed.
An end to showy, shimmering
End of chapter, verse, and song
Ended – gone.
Fire, burned to embers, burned to ash.
Family that was
Hope – dashed.
Put to past that life. Door
Closed.
No more clamoring of boisterous, busy, boys
No more of what was.
No more.
Click
The latch drops quiet
Softly in the heartache, damns as it falls
Honeysuckle sweet the lack/Harder than maul
But the window…
Oh! The window!
Gently released
Wide.
Open.

Willow Road

Winding road
Stretches, lonely
Among thick briery thorns.
Glimpses of light send shocks of pain
Until I see tiny flowers
Hidden in the rough

Meadow wanders
Bright and beige
Hot sun begs cool shade
Then gentle fingers brush
Summer breezes by
Ripple rustling grasses
Into the sky

Rocky streambed
Trips and trickles
Stony, rough, and cold
Then rays pierce the gloom
Sunbeam glistens twinkle
on tiny crystal drops of mirrors
Willows bend over gentle banks
and seem to cry.

Spencerian Quatrameter Sonnet Pair

A rose, they say, would smell as sweet
If called a thistle or a thorn
A dewdrop, if 'twere called a beet
Would still, it seems, sweeten each morn.
A name, then, is of no import
And changes not a creature's worth.
Yet, be it bold, or bright, or short,
A name gives one a place on earth.
A rose would smell as sweet, 'tis true,
But 'twould no longer be a rose.
In similie, the morning dew
Would glisten, yet with different pose.
O, how a name gives life to things,
And such sweet harmony it brings

Where is the hope of faith forgot?
Where sleeps the charity of men?
Why do the weak remember not
That love will give them strength again?
The happiness of bygone years
Has faded with our modern ways.
Now pain, and loneliness, and tears
Become the norm, in these sad days.
Awake, o knight! Arouse thy steed!
And man and charger sally forth
To shake the bitterness and greed
That have so plagued our ravaged earth!
And so, with valor, win the day,
And chase despair and loss away!