Maya

Stone on stone

Moss on all

Ages gone

Jungle crawls and creeps around and on.

Tomb in air, crumbled

Rot and ash

Flies buzz, grass

Grows and spreads

Bird calls cackle and

All alive the stone

Calls, warm. I lie

Spread-eagle atop acropolis and drift:

Hear trades and lives

Families, wars, and eons

Of life amid this jungle

Stone of fire.

Club

rhythm. tock ticka tick tick
boom boom
thump the floor
shake - Move! Don't know the
words or the steps or the flow, just
Go! Dance! Be!
Strangers sweat in sync sway
to melody's harmony
Twist! Turn away, exhaustion
finds its way to stumble home
still trembling to the beat.

Rest

Ohm aside, drink in wind's face,
hear secrets of night crackles.
Find solace in shivers of lone:
tremble and treble and Gone!
Song of misnom, song of lack,
Song through wake of waves that
Splash! And attack lonely bring
Empty to self and echo alive.
Found steady a beat as I quake
and let go at last of the angst.

Smitten

Crooked smile for me

Slipped out untried

I love to see the way

I’ve made your moment

In this moment I

Have won this play

And if this moment’s all

The magic I can make

I’ve made it full of wonder

For you, and so, for me.

At the Party

A past repast apart aside

I sat alone amid the crowd

Of conversation not imparting

Mindful eyes appraising, darting on

To visit hence and thither, yon round

Cheer and vigor, wishes well,

Soft words spoken, whispered

Tell me crackling log-fire fables

Carry on.

Death Valley

Devil’s art to glide

smooth desert-path astound

masses rise to wonder

as knowing few glower

mask informed opinion

and proud. Bent on preserving

Fickle favorist deception

Mid agonized self-spite.

But having explanation

Un-expounded breeds contentment

As devil’s race, march on!

End In Sight

Wrong again
Want you out of my head
I thought I'd think once or twice
Then token paid, advance
Think I'd be alright
Everything fine

Messed up again
Shake me loose!
Fling caution aside
See you again! And again.
Now I am whole, home
More than one.
A thing so right
Everything fine

Don't understand
Figured out again?
I left and hurt you
And you returned for more
Now we're ours
Perfect blend
Everything's fine

Scream and rage,
Crash against the cage
Hurl insults, shout curses
Do all to make it worse and
I love you
More than I want to
But that's fine
Everything's fine

Junction

Mine or highway
So it be
For you, her, me.
Life bites -
Make it bleed!

My limit's reached
Not by your push
But I won't pander,
Follow your lead

Hang in longer
Let it slide,
You want that I should?
Yes, but not for hire

Be rave, maniac
Argue none
Tread on me and
I may flatten
or soar:
grasp ever higher
or embrace this floor.

Quail

Can't.
Because she asked?
Too humbling, to fill a request?
She asked for need: she's empty
Do it!

Can't say.
Because he's hurt you?
Can't put feelings on display?
He must mean something: he hurt you
Risk it!

Can't be yourself without apology
Fear how the world sees?
How does the world see?
Notice your quirk and passion?
No, the world moves,
You lose.

Midnight Muses

Exhaustion creeps
Withdraws as terms and epithets
and Flaws abound around the
Synapses impounded mid endorphins
all encoded double helix showed
A tentative assumption to be
Right and know exclusion of devotion
In a less enchanted sphere.

Inhale

Brush
Touched
And I spin through
The center of all
Sagittarian-bound fall
This warm find,
Close
And hold me
Tonight

More Haiku Again

Hillside covered with
Swaying grasses in the wind
Looks like a ballad

Ever my only
Sweetest and bitterest dream
How should I follow?

When truth only hurts
And there is no right answer
Don't ask the question

What is gone is gone
Fading in the distance like
Sirens in the night

Crisp and shiny fruit
Tart-sweet juciness tempting
Downfall of mankind

Comfort when I cry
Do you want to understand
Or just hurry by?

Here's My Delilah

As Sampson let himself be shorn
For you, these locks of love, I've worn
Savaged mane of Aslan's how,
Gold-tinted glory, given now
So run, Delilah, sing and play
Defy in joy this players' stage!
On which without a glowing crown
And twisted face in sodden frown
You wilted, caught by dripping Line
Within ward's cheeriness confined.
But turban-gone, now flaunt your crown
That, oh Delilah, love cut down.

Liberi Non Sum

So perfect
If I dream you
And don't make you
The world won't break you
And they can't take you
Away. Hey
I love you
More than I could show
By anything to say
And games to play
So I don't say hello
Won't let you cry.
I refuse.
I can't let you
Hurt. Hey,
I love you.
More than I could prove
By any show of passion
Anything imagined
So I don't say hello
Won't let you fall
Can't let that happen
I won't make you
Hurt. Hey.

Just One Dance

Slowly holding me, leading me
Somewhere to stay for forever
Over so suddenly
And I have yet to sing
Is there a song in this moment?

What a wonderful gift and a dream
Something to stay in forever
This can't be meant for me
And I have yet to see
Ignorance is my bliss it seems

Again to your self and your silence
A comfort to feel for forever
Over eventually
But I have the memories
Trembling and fearing: they wane.

Fading and slowing
The music is going
And I finally sing
It is ended
This dance to last forever: over
Done.
And I am changed.

So thank you again for this slow dance
Thank you for filling forever
With a moment so serene
Something I have never been
Thank you for that safety.

Broken Song

Lyrics rhymed, flowed
melody inspired beauty,
hold fast to mast or line
let follies fly - cast sorrows overboard!
Sang of truth, hope, healing
Of
Song breaks
Wrong note struck
a few times many
Who listens? Empty sighs
a breeze?
Air, a call
Clamoring. Who hears?
Broken verse to my broken tune
Dischord and down, away.

Adrift

you turn and the world
follows along
riding the wave so high
i tumbled in
now flail in your wake
mid wreckage strewn
and cast-off
and the world turns
away.
you spread and spin
and the world loves you
without your approval
as you spin, and ruin
and add remorse
as the turn loves you
as i do,
left behind.

Can't Have

Slow to heal,
Each sight a sore
Some bittersweet
and some wound fresh
A slap atop the pain
kick fallen form
Tears unbid
choked in
wait for that shoulder
warm embrace
that walks away.

Can't Take Back

dare rescind so
a gift given meant
to stay gone?
presence of present
to lighten and lie
in the light of the eye
given on.
But not long
ere abandonment irks
this forsaken find
of a gift offered freely
and given, and gone
yet left in the memory
of gift giver's gone.

No More!

Bless!
Feline comfort
Lounge in sunbeams
Grooms awash so zen
And be
Tranquil fountain
Run cross stone
and cycle through
Lilt
The way
I
Lie facing leaves
and breeze
Forest heals
Trees hold
Moss knows
All.

Distance

I reach
Hand won't feel
Eyes don't meet
Alone but here,
Fidget and fret
and shuffle feet
as hearts turn
Away.

Just Be

Stop
let in the night
crisp,
wide,
wild,
waves and sand.
wind in my hands.
metal air of rain to be -
heaviness of cloud.
Can't imagine going back
to the world, unless
I take a piece of peace
home with me.

my endless

sweet, sweet candle
light my room
fragrance of
sweet memories dance
and bliss to be
ever, and ever
sweet candle flame
home beckons
fill my confidence
feed my flame
no condition
hurts aside,
I love
and will
all of time

Eager

Have I been
So long, un-fascinated?
Without wonder?
Gone?
That spaciousness,
Kubla's walls, ice formed!
And so - ah! I see them!
Dear neverwhere, dear atoms
Salute, embrace, and see,
Astounded by simplicity,
See life, see worth,
See who this joke's on -
Feather scent. Just breathe!
Have I so long not heard
Calling, cawing, raven's lore?
Stones of voices, lilt thru seasons
Forgotten? Ever, nevermore Poe!
You saw them, heard, and fell
As I in madness whirled, a time,
to live a time to die. For
every season has a home
and every mood have I to find
a reason onward, Holst to sing
My universe to crown.

Enough

no drama in the sunset:
a subtle line of hues
edges cumulus darkness
cloud banks, deepen as
a slice of bliss peeks out,
Soft sigh breeze flicks by,
Little balm for eyes that ache:
enough for now, tonight.

Building Optimism

Glue won't hold this glass together
Bind the shards and hold them still
Leaks and lesions spill the diamonds
Half-full glass worth's water seeps
into the ground. Again, and slips.
More adhesive, bandage all,
Melt and re-mold, sloppy, small
New glass misshapen, globby, rude
Filling slowly, ashen rain
Trickles in with many a pause
Spills a little, as I shake, but
Someday glass half-full again

Span of Attention

Lovely
Fun, Amazing
Gaze on me, rapt.
Hold me and never let...
Tomorrow the same?
Know me well
No more surprises
Repeat again
Embers from flame
And then,
A new smile
Lovely.

Karuna

I wrote a letter today
And trembled
And didn't "send"
I put all the words there
To show what I meant
I wrote a long letter
Another, and then
Yet one more letter
And I didn't "send".
Why to say I am spent
Can't unfeel the felt
And I'm still so upset
And I come softly down
And end with a pause
That I want to be friends.
And that letter was gone.

A Letter

Dear Sir,
This world, is it mine? To do as I must, or as I will?
Then why, Sir, won't it bend?
This mind, fractures at discrepancy, altered as I may?
It won't bend, sir, it wont!
Why Sir, must I bend
To make the echoes roll.
In this world, my own, I'm the one to change, to form
To make myself new again and see
the world a different way.
I think I understand, Sir.
I'm closer than I was before.
Thank you for your time, Sir
Sincerely,
Prodigal

Raudra

I sang a song today
So angrily and loud
Echoes all the tiles around
Tones exquisite
Stellar sound
Unleashed diaphragm
And tongue
Explored in rage
The oft sang song
Of pure betrayal
Loud, and long.
Then, out of breath,
And pain outspent
Quietly towelled
Spun shower dial
And sought my day.

Jilt

It won't last, not forever
Do we seek what isn't there?
Humans, flawed, designed to care
To fall in love, to then eschew
And in turn fall for something new
Did I ask for forever?
Or maybe just for understanding
Maybe just to know why I was
Being tossed aside this time.
Maybe explanation - hope I didn't
cause my own demise.

Nothing Stupid

I know that I promised
I wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
To leave behind so much, so many
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
To waste the time I've spent and then
Risk not adding to the greater good
To leave without an exit sign
Never care again. Not mind
If what they say is really right
If anything was ever mine
My mind, my solace, my time?
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
Find emptiness and follow demons
Down to where I skated last.
Down into the bitterness.
Down for thinking that I could
Deserve to earn a little good.
So standing on uneven ground
One foot on the ladder, and one down.
Fight again? Work longer, hard?
Give up, lose, let down, cause pain
Grief and suffering, pass on blame?
Could I be that bitter, cruel
To let others bear my burden? No!
Wouldn't. Won't. Can't.
I'm in for the duration. Toss me where you may.
Say what you like, Pierce and defile.
I'm in this foolish game to stay!

Joke

Success measured, gained
Brought things. Thoughts,
Places of dreams.
Wealth settled for instead
Of What-might-have-been,
Peace forsaken by
Windswept momentary joy.
Thrilling time slides
Brutally by and scars
those caught in flow
and wake.
We sigh, in lapse
of essence. Breaks in trauma.
Seek no attainment, won't be had!
Journeying, can't stop/look back.
Past gone, future foregone,
Regret nothing, but sorrow all.
Dying to rise, yet living to fall.

Adbhuta

I went to the forest today
Chakra cube entered, theatre game
And Away!
Felt underfoot loam, and needles and moss
Inhaled the deep chill of glacier melt air
River flow on, Face the sun!
A curve of Quinault, and I'm halfway in shade.
Director brings down, and
My peace slowly fades.
Although in my character
Driven by wonder
I went to the forest today
For just a short time.

Judge

Proverbial heart
On a page
Open for any
Dissect as you may
Have I to lose? Hide?
Have I shame?
No, Nae! Never no more!
All bared and abandoned
Must bare all again
Why to hide? Make it easy?
Quench the pain?
No. Nae. Never.
All out, enlightened
All out on stage.
Given away, all to take.

Wall

Doesn't hurt
Can't make me
I won't be
Here
Withdrawn and
Brazen and
Trembling I'm
Here
Don't find me!
Don't seek me -
Just leave me alone!
Can't understand why you'd
Pick me, I'm not like you
Not what you want! Never
Could be
Don't ask me, I'm
Broken, don't follow I'm
Fallen.
Don't want me, if I can't
Don't want me. Who is me
To be understood
When I'm all unraveled
Here.

Love is a Safe Space

Thrills extending
Exhale deeply
Lean now on
A kindred chest
Swirling tingles
Thru rocky tripway
Flow minds through
Together bound
A prize, a journey?
No! A peace, merely joy
Abound here and now
In this love, this haven
These arms of my own.

Too Much

Sweet, pulsing, sticky
Ever so many
Schmoopy all over again
Faster, farther
Whirl, sprint, bedazzle
Win again, more!
Never a doubt, hesitation
Chagrin
Point and you own what you
Loved at a glance
Easily swayed, pursue new romance
Dollars are plenty and
Boringly same
Never so reaching, enduring
No shame.

Now What?

And then,
Edges crumble
Banks wash,
Sink deep, sand quicks
still I stand
but now,
No pedestal
Nor high ground
Goal? Aspiration?
Found ruin here
Opportunist theft left
And I exist
Knowing, believing,
Hoping
Not for this.

Self-(doubt) Awareness

Never meant for (happiness) this mess...
Made so strong (to bear all) by standing tall and wincing none
Too far (to fall) strength and honor (gall)
To be one of the few (alone) the proud (still alone)
No pain (exquisite though it be) no gain (none I see)
Dual answers abound (rebound) and sound (akin to parody)
Which be wrong, and which be me?

I am Jack's Living Truth

Soma, somnolence asleep
why so solemn as we dream?
sweeping solace, slumber deep
elusive hibernation sweet
dozing drowsily descending
land of nod i duly seek
spoon to snuggle, silly me
to think that I could fall asleep!

Consequence of Will

Scar atop, cut buried deep
Wasted effort? Burn beneath
Waiting, Chasing, Plead for this
Humiliate and bend, for just a glance,
Tho unbalanced, risk intense rejection.
Fail! Chance's taunting echos fly, and
Churn, devouring.
Worth it?
Aye.

Owned

Heart given
Hopes and all
Awaiting a question
To settle
my Yes
To finalize the gift
Persuaded I gave,
dazzled shone your eyes
and I
Shone for a moment
Dangled on an edge
Awaiting a question
never asked.

Galvanize

Let it beat me?
Just dare try!
I
Won't
Sink again
Why?
I'm broken
Hurting
I'm angry, and I need
Something, I don't understand, I'd
Give anything to cry
Stay, hibernate, endure away
In secret, hold on weeping
Wait away, but let despair
Take over?
Just dare try!
I won't be had, unfair or no
I mean to triumph, on my own
Worst can be: do well alone
Winning fame, though
banned from home.

Mismatch

Did it ever make sense?
No! But we loved anyway
And fell more, again.
Incredibly binding that freedom it was:
Compromise anything, overlook flaws
Reach to a habit, becoming so trite
Never made sense, but oh
So, so right! For a time
then so wrong decide you, and I
soak in the shock of it, go
And I try to make this make sense
This new way I am, this
stranger who's fallen so deeply in vain,
fallen into routine and in status quo
fallen into your life
and not yet out again.