Tossed

Trampled 'neath careless discarded mess
Filthy and alone, hope abandoned, lifts
"saved" today for one night's stand!
Harsh morning's light sheds, glares,
Exposes inconsistencies. Now the one,
Or the first - which life better? Frenzied
Passion now, for chance of ruin? Or
peace and reprimand. O choose!

Tangles

Strings of this heart
Wrapped so tight round
Fearless stranger. Lie
down and give pretense all;
Stand tall for tiny something.
Face wished-on good, for greater:
Judge tomorrow, guess, divine,
And reason cannot fight these
Twists inside, and love like mine.

Today's Promise

Make same promise
Day on day:
To try,
To build,
Not success,
Just enough;
A step, though small,
An effort, push,
Brick by brick; this wall
Tear down and let
The sun shine in!

Writer's Block

Assigned creation, stare at space
Muse, I'd like, but nae mair seek
Nor mind's gaze to Lethe flit
Bare walls, a spider's skein
Attention's wage appropriate
Faults nor epic fathoms make.

Not Like Me

Impossibly far, but reach!
Beyond belief, opposed space,
Touch new and neverending, how?
For now. Today. 
Blend yang with yin and Tao,
Tie-dyed pang with hope just
Found. Hold fast, grit jaw,
And vow. For all and always
Mine!

Making it Work

No pretense
No balance, fragile: fear to break the silence -
Speak! And hear, and know all open
Here - small stings of real, avert
Catastrophe of built-up bites and strain;
Bind, build, and make a life
Of compromise, to last.

Scotch Broom

Dominated, frustrated,
Incapacitated by this;
Such a tiny thing, and lovely
In its way, brings
Misplaced blame, attack my
Self and wear away a
Semblance of ease
Golden froth
of layered petals
Muffle breath
And swell, and sear
Worn and weary me.

And Go

Found? Doubt evidence sound,
Exclude to exhaust and enhance -
Abound, expound reason to remain
Lost. Hypothesize ten thousand
Fireflies and fall asleep in bed of
Memory sweet, foam and form to me,
Set, gently, night, embrace me! Wait!
Embrace? Solo form aqui, and so
Arise and go, to rusty springs and
Terrapin, to pine and wait for two,
For evidence again, to be discovered
Understood, enfolded. Found.

Less of a Dork

Still carrying, moving

On, up, away!

Sweet milky tea I sip a while

Then shower tears aside and lie,

Say I'm okay.

Not so alone, and not afraid:

What left to fear have I,

After shattered dreams and hope

Rebuilt last time, betrayed.

Impersonal waste, the words untrue -

Sentiment aside! I wavered, gave

All to try, all selfless pride, 

Became the shade, set mess to rights, 

Abandoned shame and begged

for change. Too much, I should have

Stayed ridiculous and same. Not 

Evolved as someone subtly sane, less

Of a dork than I had been.

Dredge

Call forth lost times

As though to change 

If I re-analyze. Should have said...

Could have done...

Nothing. I am I and would do

Just the same, so why

Drag through old miseries?

Re-live dreams woken,

Correct words, not spoken in time

Let them go! But, as me,

At this time, to embrace

Where I've been: To enhance where I am,

Re-discover all the jigsaws fitting in

Instead of chasing shadows

In memory's fickle rain.

I Do!

Tread,

Inhale, one foot ahead.

Forward into this

Abyss of world and wide awake -

Belong and quake afraid

To lose? To keep me safe?

Or lose myself again in shadow;

Follow, imitate?

Retreat? Can't leave this,

Can't shake this dread, but 

I look up and, oh

My welcome! 

Tread,

Next foot forward into this,

Horizon of home and love and heart's

Sweet bliss ahead! 

On Edge

Lie back

Pretend comfort, peace

Reach, touch, clean.

Do things! Live here, 

Be real here, and how

not be Really here?

Check connection status

Online, in arms, distant, here

Blocked! and walled-in

Peeked out and slammed,

Withdrew again. Why my

defenses, paper thin, build

Walls of steel

Un-fathomed. Real

and I the other side.

And I Bleed

Not for hurt, not for time;
Ember of living, scab end flow!
Tie off so well, internal floods
tears of the inside, the being, my life!
Whispers of time flown and
can't be got back.
Tourniquet pulled and alone
to clot, attempt to stop;
Heal and undo, yet i bleed.