Leaky Roof

When hard work isn't enough,
Walls fall,
Patience fades
And you keep trying, fail
I see you cry,
Stand by,
Can't seem to share your pain.
And then it rains.

Feels Like Forever

So hard now, to wake up
To learn how far I've fallen
Be brave again
Where was my mind?
I found it, but now, you're
Still in there somehow
Tucked away.
Now you're far,
And it's gone
Far too late.

Betrayal

Trapped
In a world of stars
Split moment of sun, dark home
Clutch air, bitter tears
Heart given freely,
Taken away
Web of lies,
No matter the fight
Lost
In framework of function
All I want to be - at once
Nothing!
Destitute, shadows twisting
curling feathers in
This lonely waste
Of me,
for me,
pain instituted by me
Benedictine.

Inside

i am not rich i might be quick and i do not appreciate
All the things you do for me you always give i always take
And i forget that i forgave you as i'm piling on the blame
Oh the shame, it doesn't faze me in the joy is i'm insane

I could tell you that you're stupid or you're crazy or a loser
I could say it really fast and then you wouldn't understand
I could go on really muddled and you'd worship me forever
And you wouldn't know i fake it all how do you fancy me

There's a time for being normal there's a time to be real smart
And i do not know what time that is i'm falling all apart
Cause my seams aren't all together and i'm just not what i seem
And i won't give up crying blood or ever learn from memories

Blah blah blah so i'll make up some more lyrics
Throw out lots of theory data lots of dirty words
And maybe they'll make sense to you they don't make sense to me
They're afflicted like a virus always some new strange disease

So i ate that rotten peanut and i died and went to heaven
And that old aunt suzie's boat ya know it didn't meet me there
Pixies float around my brain and they keep giving me this dream
Tomorrow may be my last day that's not quite real to me

Eternity Beckons

See the way?
Life laid out
Map of ever, follow on!
Hobble, contain frailty -
Eternity beckons.
Surmount all pain,
Sweat, bleed, fall, try!
Hampered by humanity
Sullied by misery
Push on, pass by!
Refresh, regain, revise,
Re-try.

Reunite

Sparks fly
Ignite the flame
Passion burns
Then dies again

Two souls
Alone, but then
Lovers kiss,
And try again

Years away
A gentle end
A soft embrace
Holding hands

Angel in the Morning

Sleeping,
Touch your face
As you're sleeping
I'm awake.
Tracing
Lines of laughter.
Kiss you softly
As you dream
Tell you everything's ok
As you sleep
I creep away.

Jealousy

Stings again
Jealous sword,
But a memory's
Just the past!
Not the here, nor the now
Not a threat!
Better? Different, yet
Comparing pales in moments
Almost bliss.
Promise greater love than he?
Not this! Not now, nor ever.
Better? Lies of liking.
Baggage in retro,
Finding home.

Amazing

Why misery?
You're brilliant, deserving,
Amazing.
I smile for you:
Be strong!
Smile too!
You're wonderful, caring,
Amazing.
I cry for you
more than you do.
Dry my eyes!
You're wonderful, here,
And you're mine.
Why lonely?
Believe me,
Meet my eyes:
You're amazing.

Don't

Broken
One more time
Why come here, to tear?
To touch with burning?
Can I see you, and not melt?
Not flame and wilt
Again?
Don't come here
to break,
One more time.
Does my breaking make you strong?
Don't come here.
Unless you mean to stay.
Please don't.

Soapbox

Can't shut my mouth!
Don't care if I'm speaking
Only to myself.
Authority means
Protecting precious, shiny things
From the likes of me.
Don't let me touch them,
But let me be!
Judge me
Condemn
If you don't want to hear my words -
No one makes you listen!
Hate me,
But let me speak!

Mr. Big Thing

Be a really pretty good girl, be a bratty whining whore, girl
Be what I want you don't be what you want, girl
Don't be a freak out throw a conniption fit
Just stay my angel, stay my little prissy bitch
So you don't like this me the way I say this
How do you expect that I should take this bullshit?

Throw me another bone, a riddle from your big throne
Give me one more damn direction, tell me who and what and how to function
Mr. High and sweet and mighty Mister big thing your mental power's tiny

Be a really smart girl, be a supergenius servant girl
Do what I say you don't know what you want, girl
Don't have a habit, don't, cause you can't commit to
Don't dare to breathe you don't have what I'm into
So you don't want the me the way I do this
How do you explain why you hold me to your bullshit

Give me another chance another time to show you what I have
How about some more instruction, so I know who I am and how to function
Mr. kiss my boots and kiss my ass, yeah Mr. Big Thing, I'm all for that

So break me down slowly and then you build me up to something
To a model of designer freak I'm pretty I don't say a thing
Why not get yourself a nice inflatable toy
You demented, abusive, pathetic little boy
Why not tear down something not real to begin with
Why not get some mental help instead of living in this bullshit

Moment of Regret

Well,
I'm waiting
It's all over, isn't it?
I'm done with, gone.
You don't need me now,
Okay.
I never needed you anyway.
Or loved you
When I swore,
I lied.
And when you left,
No! I cried!
I had to say some things...
But I didn't mean it.
Like I don't mean this.
This blood isn't mine. Never touched that blade.
Never could be perfect, that just wasn't me
And I'm finally starting to see
That it wasn't you either.
And I made a mistake
When I cut
on my wrist
But now it's too late.
Only,
Wait...

Migration

We will go
Wherever you blow us,
We will roam
Empty and homeless,
We will live
Every second life gives us to know!
We are the restless, the wanderers
On our free roam.

Night, and the wind's blowing
Hard, and the rain's falling
Fast as I lift my face
Drops dripping every place
Bright, and the moon's shedding
Light on us all running
Ever around and which way
To escape the confusion and
When the clouds cover, and
When fog rolls over, I
Can't see a thing!
Fear is all consuming
Help us please, blow us free!
Terror surrounds us, whip us faster
to flee, don't you care?

So What?!?

Doesn't matter
No one cares
Yell it to the sky-
So what?!?
It's raining
dark, wind blowing
Lights out
You're crying
I'm going,
but we've still got a while to pretend
and to play
Sky's falling, mom's calling.
So what?!?

One More Day

One more waking
Wash, dress, go!
Doing all the things I do
Work, play, grieve, say
what I need to say to help along
Goodbye.
One more sleeping
Nestle in, read
Shiver, tell myself about
the pick ups, fall downs
All that happens in between
Waiting.
Evening and morning and midnight and noon
Can't concentrate on what's going on
As I dilly and dally and fritter my time
Waste, maybe, just, maybe just one more day.
Waiting. And waiting.
For you.

Rage of the Opressed

Cowards! You let this happen - you let this be!
Turn, and submit, and shrink from threat of pain -
What is pain?
Do you not feel it, know it in your bones already?
If we die, it ends.
If we fight, if we FIGHT, it ends!
By our own choice, we can live like rats or like humans.
Slaves, or heroes.
I'll stay no slave!
Not me!

This is what happens

A tiny soul
in a tiny space,
with a little nose and tongue and smile
appears
to stay a while.
And his little eyes dance
And he needs you - for a while
And he stretches and grows
And eats his dinner
Or not
And he loves without saying he does
And he learns
To keep clean or not
To be kind or not
and to love - and to say it or not
And his eyes dance
And he plays
And he naps
And eats his dinner or not
And fears
And shines
And doesn't need you - after a while
And he keeps clean or not
And is kind or not
And he sees the world his
Way and you see it
Yours - and he loves you
and says it or not.

False Touch

Ever searching for meaning, direction:
A book, a song, a lie!
Deeply feel, weep aloud, change your life, be
Inspired, be
raped and cleansed and defiled
by the story. Let it wash you
free and make you strong!
While all the small things,
silly, weak, daily things,
inconsequential real things
leave them lay, let them be
Push them to the background, violently!
Reach instead for the faraway, the hero, the Saint,
Who will love me and won't try to change me,
not the stranger who might need me.
Throw out your sentiment! Abandon your mind! Love is for fools!
And the very wise.

Things

I miss what
I hated
Cry when
It's gone
For things I wanted
and have
For things I wanted
and don't
Cry
for my
Almost life,
if maybe,
I was stronger,
Could have been.
Cry