Heavy-lidded, briefed for grieving,
Stand so strong, and
Trust that all is best.
"Please, help him!"
Please, I'm ready for
My tragedy.
The sobs are built.
Whispered farewells done,
Softly in the corner.
Ready for this grief.
And waiting.
Waiting.
Soon, my world will shatter,
Soon, this heart be broken,
Utter devastation, soon.
A stifled wail is ready to erupt.
And soon, the air is still and hot,
And horrible and stale.
And food is pasty.
Time is wasting.
Waiting, breathing,
Look at clocks and dedicate
A moment to the thought of passing,
Look: it's just one moment gone.
And waiting.
Grieving is no picnic,
Waiting. Even for this ending,
Waiting,
Cold, a shadow,
Waiting,
Even in the dawn.
Tuesday, June 19, 2018
Remote
I jumped.
I didn't understand
The fall would not consist
Of falling.
Space where pain was
Still exists,
Though someone warm waits,
Someone flies,
Someone, somewhere slowly dies and,
Mumbles, softly, bits of song,
So write the real words!
Write them! Long and angry, loud,
Or fuller than that storming,
Harder than that soaring, soring,
Storing war waged, sorrow stowed,
Leave them lonely, cold and empty.
Soar, defy that peak!
Defeat pressure rising beneath and
Pull! A jolt. A fling:
Simple aerodynamic thing.
And wait, and realize that
This won't be. This moment will not
Set me free of all my shackles:
Nor will any moment, any thing.
The wind lifts different
Somewhere else, but
Not as different as me.
I needn't earn it;
Just take peace. And rise.
Thoughts tumble as I realign, and
Re-examine. Re-design a space,
An open sky of ever on, but nothing comes
To open buckles, blame erase,
To take the nothing I embrace.
I didn't understand
The fall would not consist
Of falling.
Space where pain was
Still exists,
Though someone warm waits,
Someone flies,
Someone, somewhere slowly dies and,
Mumbles, softly, bits of song,
So write the real words!
Write them! Long and angry, loud,
Or fuller than that storming,
Harder than that soaring, soring,
Storing war waged, sorrow stowed,
Leave them lonely, cold and empty.
Soar, defy that peak!
Defeat pressure rising beneath and
Pull! A jolt. A fling:
Simple aerodynamic thing.
And wait, and realize that
This won't be. This moment will not
Set me free of all my shackles:
Nor will any moment, any thing.
The wind lifts different
Somewhere else, but
Not as different as me.
I needn't earn it;
Just take peace. And rise.
Thoughts tumble as I realign, and
Re-examine. Re-design a space,
An open sky of ever on, but nothing comes
To open buckles, blame erase,
To take the nothing I embrace.
Analgesia
And as I struggled,
As I halted, medication's best surrender sated,
You and he you would have
Other situations hated. He,
You would have fought long since,
Allied, you stood. Beside
You gripped.
Lifted, carried me through,
That hand: I should remember you!
That shared pull, a single goal
A harnessed love,
Your strength, and You,
And all we ever should have
Been or done or said,
Or were,
But oh!
Blasted subconscious,
Neuron waste, a paltry gem,
A thieving arm of RNA erased
A haven known, a moment safe!
And some say mental ills are all a fake,
But even now, I cannot place
Your arms, your eyes,
Your warm embrace of calming hope,
Your sweetest voice, your heart,
Your face.
As I halted, medication's best surrender sated,
You and he you would have
Other situations hated. He,
You would have fought long since,
Allied, you stood. Beside
You gripped.
Lifted, carried me through,
That hand: I should remember you!
That shared pull, a single goal
A harnessed love,
Your strength, and You,
And all we ever should have
Been or done or said,
Or were,
But oh!
Blasted subconscious,
Neuron waste, a paltry gem,
A thieving arm of RNA erased
A haven known, a moment safe!
And some say mental ills are all a fake,
But even now, I cannot place
Your arms, your eyes,
Your warm embrace of calming hope,
Your sweetest voice, your heart,
Your face.
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