Was I Really

Thus:
Fanatic to song, blight and shame?
Ridden, bound, and blamed
No contest?
Beg, kneel, weep to metamorphosize and
Fail, yet never hail to measure -
march, entreat, endeavor All to please,
Submit and be
Content with this?
Adept at this, accepting
This?
So broken, how
Re-rendered, set,
Kiln-fired to shine?
Selected nature theorized,
I crystallize, and wonder:
Trail satellite tails in
Spectacle, frame-bound
To terra, pine for sky, but none
So visible, ephemeral as this.
Symptomatic find, I am,
And was, and will, and on,
Yet somehow, days gone by
I was!